Pop Culture

If Your Prom Date Doesn’t Buy You A KFC Chicken Corsage, You Better Dump His Ass

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I am all for jumping the shark. Ridiculous, over-the-top advertising shenanigans that make absolutely no sense are right up my alley. Which is why, in the immortal words of Eve Vawter, I’m definitely going to divorce my husband if he doesn’t buy me a KFC chicken corsage TONIGHT.

It is no coincidence that KFC launched their chicken corsage through a Kentucky florist just in time for prom season. It gets better—this delicious little arm trinket is only $20:

Lucky ladies can choose a drumstick of their choice from Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, or Kentucky Grilled Chicken — whichever best matches her dress.

But those lucky Kentucky folk better be quick — there are only 100 available.

I think KFC knows exactly what they’re doing. They know that a girl is only truly lucky if she finds a guy who will offer her the drumstick of her choice. I would personally choose Extra Crispy with a side of baby’s breath to match my retro throwback Pretty in Pink 80s prom dress because I am ironic.

I would also judge each girl based on the type of drumstick she chose for her chicken corsage. Original Recipe? Can’t you be more imaginative? Kentucky Grilled Chicken? Are you on a diet, bitch?

This whole corsage idea is really resourceful, and I hope it takes off. I remember attending school related events where the snacks were few and the body count was many. Standing in a stuffy gym full of sweaty teens all night can make a girl hungry. If I was wearing a yummy, deep-fried corsage, I could have taken a few surreptitious nibbles in between rounds of freaking with my prom date.

KFC, why didn’t you come up with this brilliant idea 15 years ago?!?!?!

Girls preparing for prom, now there is one more thing to add to your list. You need a beautiful prom dress, you need matchy-matchy shoes, you obvs need a prom date, and you CLEARLY need a KFC chicken corsage, or you’re doing it wrong.

There are only 100 chicken corsages available, so get to it! In the meantime, check out this hilarious KFC corsage commercial advertising the latest prom trend:

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(Image: KFC)