Kellogg’s Announces Plans To Get Rid Of Artificial Colors And Flavors, So Prepare Yourself For Some Sad, Pale Froot Loops

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froot-loopsAs parents, we care about our kids’ health, and for a lot of us that means limiting our kids’ consumption of things like sugary breakfast cereals. When it comes to diet, I have a really bad case of “do as I say, not what I do,” because I try to feed my daughter only very healthful things, but for me I adore all my sugary old nostalgic favorites. My daughter’s first birthday cake was a pile of organic blackberries and Greek yogurt arranged to look kind of like a cake, but I definitely ate a box of Oreos in the closet that night after she went to bed that night.

The baby is good and pure and not yet addicted to things like Kraft Dinner and Froot Loops, but I definitely am. Apparently there are a lot of people trying to keep their kids from that kind of food, because now Kellogg announced this week that it intends to eliminate artificial colors and flavors by 2018. That’s great news for kids, but what is it going to do to my Loops!?  I loved the Loops, particularly the yellow ones. (I do not care if you say they are all the same flavor. They are obviously different, just like M&Ms, and don’t even try to tell me that yellow M&Ms aren’t the best M&Ms.)

Also, today for the first time I realized that Kellogg’s Froot Loops are spelled “FROOT” Loops, not Fruit. I’ve been spelling Froot Loops wrong my whole life! And now I cannot stop hearing it in the voice of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy: “I am Froot.” Apparently I am not the first to have that epiphany.

giphy (91)(Via Giphy)

I guess it’s a good thing that Froot Loops will no longer have artificial colors and flavors, but I have a hard time believing that this will change anyone’s minds. Will the people who currently forbid their kids from eating Froot Loops suddenly be like, “Well the dye is gone, let’s go to town!”

And what will the new, all-natural dyes do to the Loops? If they are no longer bright yellow and pink, will they taste like anything at all? I worry about these things, not for the baby, who is still not allowed to have those things, but for me, because I need my once-a-year bowl of nostalgia treats.

According to Grub Street, Australia already has Froot Loops without artificial colors, and apparently they are pale and sad. Consumerist notes that the Australian Froot Loops are colored with “carmine, paprika, caramel I, turmeric, copper chlorophyll, and vegetable carbon.”

Poor wan little breakfast cereal, as long as you are covered in sugar I promise I will still love you.

(Photo: Kellogg’s)