Katie Holmes’ Lawyer Reminds Us That Every Report On The Divorce Settlement Is Flamingly False

When Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached a settlement in their divorce less than two weeks after filing, the Internet practically swelled with speculation as to who got what. Katie Holmes’ lawyer simultaneously announced that the terms of the settlement were “private” mere moments before reports surfaced that Katie had secured full custody of Suri Cruise. But just in case you didn’t hear him loud enough the first time, Katie’s lawyer has released another statement clarifying just how false everything you read on the Internet is.

People reports Katie’s legal rep as saying:

“There are numerous inaccuracies in the reports regarding the purported contents of the agreement reached between the parties,” says attorney Jonathan Wolfe. “The agreement is confidential and its terms will not be disclosed.”

Considering that little Suri can’t even collect her daily hot cocoa without a horde of paparazzi, the structure of that custody agreement is most likely going to become evident to the public depending on where she is photographed. But all the other little details about property, Scientology, and rumored infidelity will just have to remain as speculation. Because we all know Katie’s settlement agreement nixed any possibility of her eventually writing a tell-all book.

(photo: LIFE/WENN.com)