Kate Winslet Elopes In Coolest Wedding, Ever

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shutterstock_112919416Celebrities always get to the do coolest stuff. No fair. Kate Winslet eloped earlier this month to someone named Ned Rocknroll. What? That can’t be his real name. He’s the nephew of famous entrepreneur billionaire Sir Richard Branson. And Leonardo DiCaprio gave her away. It sounds like some make-believe playtime wedding I would have drummed up as a pre-teen. That sounds like so much fun.

I often fantasize about eloping, but frankly my mother would kill me. So would my sister. Maybe if I had a few marriages under my belt, nobody would really care as much. But since I don’t, the clandestine wedding fantasy will probably remain just that – a fantasy.

They both dealt with the potential familial backlash by just not inviting their parents. Genius. Rocknroll’s father,Robert, told The Sun: “It’s not something I know of – but nothing would surprise me with those two.” When Winslet’s father was asked about the nuptials, he responded, “What are you going on about?” Ha! Those crazy kids! What are they up to now?

I love it. It’s Winslet’s third marriage and Rocknroll’s second, so why bother with all of the ceremonial bullshit? I can barely get behind all of the pomp and circumstance of a first wedding – let alone a third. It sounds like they did it right. Just Winslet’s kids and some very close friends in attendance.

Rocknroll works for the space-travel branch of the Virgin Empire – and no, that’s not his real name. He changed it from “Abel Smith,” because that’s a transition that makes sense. Rich people are so silly. But whatever – they’re happy. A source for The Sun revealed:

“Kate and Ned got married in a really romantic and private ceremony. They had been planning it for a while. They are both so happy and very much in love. Kate is very private and didn’t want anyone to know.

Good for them. If they didn’t even tell their parents, why would they bother telling the rest of us? I personally love Kate Winslet and her secret ceremony. Her husband’s name is totally stupid, but that’s neither here nor there. I hope it lasts.

(photo: Jaguar PS/