K Middy May Be Lying To Us About Where She Is Birthing

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kate middleton  attends a Princess Cruises ship naming ceremony at Ocean TerminalPregnant Kate Middleton, who needs to hurry up and deliver according to Queen Elizabeth, my associate editor Eve Vawter, and just about the entire Mommyish community, is trying to give us the slip! Mind your Kate Middleton Baby apps accordingly because despite all the hoopla that has been happening in London for days, K Middy may be planning to deliver in her hometown. SNEAKY DUCHESS.

The Telegraph reports that Kate and Prince William have been spending this week with the in-laws in Bucklebury, Berkshires. While there are multiple helicopter-y plans for the Duchess to deliver at St Mary’s (where the paparazzi has been camped out for days), an alternative plan is Kate welcoming her baby in the same hospital in which she was born back in 1982:

If the Duchess goes into labour while she is staying with her parents and her labour progresses more quickly than expected, her doctors could send her to the Royal Berkshire, which is less than half an hour’s drive from Bucklebury, rather than risking the 53-mile trip to London.

It would raise the prospect of the Duchess spending her first night with her baby on a public ward sharing with other mothers, as the hospital does not have a private maternity wing.

A royal source said: “There are contingencies in place for wherever the Duchess happens to be, and one of them is the Royal Berkshire.

“It is still a possibility that she could give birth there, though that would only be in extremis, as the expectation is that she will go to St Mary’s.”

The OBGYNs who are slated to deliver the royal baby, Marcus Setchell (who has stopped boozing in preparation for the birth), and Alan Farthing (the dude who has the secret BATMAN encrypted cell phone), would reportedly still be able to “supervise” the delivery in Kate’s hometown.

But the best tidbit to Kate hypothetically birthing this far out from London would be no private room privileges. While Kate would be guaranteed a fully prepped room with wifi and satellite TV (that has been “sealed off” since July 1st), private rooms back home would reportedly be first come first serve. And assuming that there isn’t a new mother who would be willing to trade, perhaps, Kate Middleton’s baby name for her own private bed, the Duchess will be slumming in a post-natal ward with “four beds to a section.”

That and a lot of scratchy towels, I bet.