Pop Culture

10 Questions I Have About Josie Duggar’s McDonald’s Birthday Lunch

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5th Annual Values Voter Summit

Everyone’s favorite family of 21 had a special birthday happen this week. Their 19th (and last) child, Josie Duggar, turned five. In case you are not as current on Duggar knowledge as I am, let me bring you up to speed. Josie was born incredibly early and spent the first few months of her life in the NICU so before I get silly, may I just say that I am genuinely happy for the family that she is here and healthy, celebrating her fifth birthday. Five for you, Josie Duggar. You go, Josie Duggar.

Alright, with that out of the way, let the shenanigans commence. Josie, girl, you know I feel you. Us December birthday girls always get swept under the rug and I’m so sad for you that your family made a McDonald’s pit stop your 5th birthday lunch. Now, I’m sure one could argue that you likely made this request yourself- after all, my daughter turned seven this year and was rabid for some Taco Bell (I talked her into Cracker Barrel….a huge improvement). However, knowing your family’s penchant for buying used and saving the difference, I am surprised they didn’t just throw you a Lunchable and call it a day. That said, I have some serious questions about how this event went down:

1. How many Big Macs did Jim Bob eat?

I think he could probably put away a half dozen without breaking a sweat. He is the father of The Paunch, after all.

2. Did Jana cut Josie’s chicken nuggets?

I just like to imagine that she didn’t and kind of pretended not to see her struggling so Michelle would actually have to lift a finger. Silent protest, Jana. It’s all you have left now.

3. Was there a sign-up sheet for siblings to attend?

Do they fight over who’s turn it is to go to a lame, kiddie, birthday lunch?

4. Was there a cap on the number of siblings that could come?

I see only a small representation in the photos. Of course, Jana the #1 Hand Maiden is there- how else would Michelle function out in public? This also makes me wonder who was watching the other kids while Jana was allowed out. Do they trust wily Jinger that much?

5. Was Josie allowed a birthday McFlurry? Or are those the work of the devil?

McFlurry’s are so heavenly. I feel like people probably make sex noises when they get a big chunk of Butterfinger in their spoon so maybe this wouldn’t be allowed? Kind of like dancing?

6. Did anyone find long, Duggar hairs in their food?

I feel like this is probably a hazard whenever this family sits down to a meal. Or tries to unclog the tub.

7. Was Tim Tebow invited? If so, did he offer to pay?

Just cause, you know, I would like to know.

8. Is Jessa pregnant yet?

Yeah, yeah- I know this has nothing to do with McDonald’s or Josie but this question is keeping me up at night.

9. Did TLC pay for this lunch?

It was likely only $27 but you know Jim Bob would wheedle it out of them if he could. He has like, 12 weddings left to pay for. The guy has to save where he can.

10. Did anyone see Jesus in a hamburger bun?

Because I’ve heard that can happen.

(Feature Image: Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images)