Baby Names

I’m Getting Knocked Up Just So I Can Name My Baby After My Little Pony, Like Jools Oliver

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Jools Oliver, wife of celebrity chef and flavored-milk-hater Jamie Oliver, has been taking flack over naming one of her daughters Petal Blossom Rainbow, and giving me major baby name envy. I’m personally done birthin’ babies, but this name is making me want to rethink this decision! All of her other children have totally adorable over the top sparkle fairy princess pony names, like Poppy Honey Rosie, ten, Daisy Boo Pamela, nine, and Buddy Bear Maurice, two.

Mrs. Oliver recently told Gurgle Magazine:

They all have more than one name because I couldn’t decide.

I’m not sure where Petal Rainbow came from – apparently it’s a My Little Pony! I wanted to call her Rainbow but Jamie told me to calm down.With Buddy it was quite fun choosing a boy’s name, as I hadn’t done it before. And I hate people’s opinions on names. Whatever you call your baby is your decision.

Word up, Jools Oliver!  You can name your daughter after a My Little Pony if you wish. All of her children have perfectly normal first names really, and it isn’t like they are going to grow up and feel strange because their mother decided to choose a name that may ostracize them later in life, like in the case of my youngest son who once had a little girl classmate with what I feel is sort of an unusual name. Lingerie. Yes, pronounced the same way you pronounce the description of bras and panties and garter belts. That kid may be due for some teasing in junior high, unfortunately. Or a very popular dating schedule in college.

I personally love the names Jools Oliver has chosen. It makes me sort of sad that my children all have quite normal names. I like my kid’s names, and they all seem to fit each of them, but can I have a do-over and give them some more glittery sounding middle names? Or do I have to start adopting a lot of puppies and kitties so I can name them things that sound like My Little Pony characters like Princess Sparkle Maybelline Peony*? Have you ever had baby name regret? Do you wish you had chosen a more interesting sounding name for your child?

The Olivers are obviously terribly cool people. Jools Oliver is gorgeous, her husband Jamie is fighting the good fight against pink slime on our children’s lunch trays, and their children all seem to be super cute and judging from what I’ve seen on Food Revolution, pretty smart little people. With really kickass names.

*I’ll be watching you, you baby names thieves, in case one of you decides to steal this amazingly great name.

(Photo: Wenn)