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Douchecanoe NBA Player Demanded That His GF Sign An ‘Abortion Contract’

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1J.J._Redick_Bucks_cropped__1374662323_74.134.205.46This is probably the least romantic thing I can think of. I’m sure lots of fancy famous people require the people they date to sign all sorts of nondisclosure agreements and other contracts, but I’m having a hard time totally understanding how this all works out. According to the International Business Times,  around six or so years ago when J.J. Riddick was a rookie playing with the Orlando Magic (He now plays for the LA Clippers) , he broke up with a model named Vanessa Lopez. Vanessa was all “Not so fast dude, we can’t break up because I am pregnant!” (I am guessing this is what she said. I have no idea. She may have just said FFFfffFFFFFFffffFFFFFF and thrown a plate at his head) and then he went and lawyer’d up and presented Miss Vanessa with an ABORTION CONTRACT.

According to the terms of the abortion contract, lawyers stipulated that Redick would agree to “establish and maintain a social and/or dating relationship” with Lopez for at least one year. In exchange, Lopez would agree to abort her pregnancy, and submit to a battery of pre- and post-operation tests to confirm that the abortion had indeed taken place. “In the event that the foregoing establishes that Lopez was either not pregnant or did not terminate the pregnancy, Redick shall have no further obligations hereunder,” the document states.

The abortion contract also included several other stipulations. For example, if Redick determined that he was no longer willing or able to enter into a “relationship” with Lopez after the abortion, he reserved the right to pay Lopez $25,000 in compensation, in lieu of staying with her. The document also included a confidentiality agreement, as well as an understanding that any attempts by Lopez to maintain contract after their “relationship” would constitute stalking.

Are you guys swooning yet? This is pretty much exactly the script of The Notebook, except a lot less swooningly romantic and with weird abortion rules thrown in. What a mess. But things ended sort of happily ever after for Lopez, who in 2010 had an affair with a married Shaq and accused him of threatening her but then that case was thrown out of court.

I would have countered with my own contract that said stuff like :

If I go through with the abortion you have to attend all my appointments with me and pay for me to go to a spa after and you are never allowed to man guilt me about it and oh yeah, you have to get a hell of a lot better about birth control and if you ever bring up my abortion again you have to pay me 50 thousand dollars and also, stop acting like this important life decision we are making is some sort of thing that can be solved with lawyers.

Andddd this is why I didn’t marry a basketball player. Tah-dah!

(Image: Wikicommons)