10 Parenting Tips Jim Bob Duggar Will Probably Pass On To Derrick Dillard”

Two days in a row of awesome Duggar news, somebody pinch me! Today, People is asking the hard-hitting question of whether Derick Dillard will embrace fatherhood to which I say: 1. Too late to back out now. 2. Um, he married a woman with 18 siblings. I’m pretty sure Derick is more than ready to embrace fatherhood considering his pedigree. This pointless article did get me thinking, though- about the parenting tips Jim Bob Duggar could pass on to his son-in-law before their first baby arrives. He should know, right?

1. How To Negotiate The Best Mate For Your Daughter

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Jim Bob has now weathered the match-making process for two of his daughters and at least tried to get talks off the ground for Jana and a certain super hot football player. He should have good advice on procuring the ideal suitors for any future daughters Derick and Jill have.

2. How To Make A Denim Diaper

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You’ve gotta save money somehow and going cloth seems like a sensible move for a family that will likely have 20 kids to re-use them. We all know Jim Bob worships at the altar of Levi so he should have some choice tidbits to pass along.

3. How To Select Your Family’s Name Letter

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We all know the letter Jim Bob and Michelle arrived on and also, their son Josh and his wife Anna. The jury is still out on whether Derick and Jill will forsake 96% of the alphabet, but if they do, they better make sure to pick a letter with many options.

4. How To Buy Denim (And Everything Else) In Bulk

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Or used. Whatever. Big families cost a shitload and Derick, although an accountant, will need all the help he can get. Maybe he should consider buying denim by the roll.

5. How To Drive A Bus

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Jim Bob has driven an out-sized family vehicle for the better part of the last two decades to accommodate his clan. He better teach Derick how to negotiate a behemoth van so he doesn’t derp it up in the church parking lot.

6. How To Fit 10 Bunk Beds In A 9×11 Room

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Before the Duggars got all that sweet TLC cash, they lived in a rather modest home with only a few bedrooms for their 14 or 15 kids. I’m sure Jim Bob could teach Derick a thing or two about piling kids in a room like sardines. And in learning to live with no personal space whatsoever.

7. How To Stay Trim On A Diet Of Tater Tots And Cream Of Mushroom Soup

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Again, the budget is a bitch. Unless Jim Bob filters down some of that aforementioned TLC coin, Jill and Derick will need to watch the grocery bill.

8. How To Handle A Dirty Diaper When There Is No Woman Around

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We all know that baby stuff is the work of women but if the wife ever has to birth another child or take a poop, the menfolk may need to pitch in. Jim Bob can advise Derick on how to keep calm so he can do it without breaking a sweat.

9. How To Stay Cool When The Delivery Room Nurse Wears Pants

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Seeing that nurse in pants all throughout the labor process might cause lustful thoughts. Jim Bob can teach Derick de-boner-ifying techniques to use for the next 20 years of birthing. I’m thinking a Bible in the lap- that sort of thing.

10. How To De-Clog Shower Drains From All That Hair