10 Reasons Jill Duggar’s Fetus Should Thank Jesus He’s A Boy
It’s a big day for the Duggar-Dillard clan! After 18 weeks of updates on registering for orange soda, horking for the Lord and writing out Bible verses to read on index cards during labor (because THAT will happen) we have finally found out the news that Jill is gestating a bouncing, Duggar-Dillard baby boy!
According to People, Derick is positively thrilled because obviously, a penis-haver is what every family needs to properly kick things off:
“I was really excited,” says Derick, 25. “As a new dad, to have a firstborn son to be our first child and be the leader of his siblings, it is very special.”
Naturally, we all know someone with a vagina can’t be the sibling leader. They are too busy raising their younger siblings, working shifts in the family cafeteria and bleeding on everything.
Seeing Derick’s reaction and knowing what we know about how life goes for a girl in this family, I’m sure that inside of his mother’s #blessed uterus, this fetus is thanking Jesus he’s a boy. Here are the reasons why:
1. He Will Be Free From A Life In Denim Shackles
Unlike his mom and aunts, this boy will never know how hard life is when shuffling around in a long, narrow, denim prison. Praise Jesus.
2. He Can Get Haircuts Whenever He Wants
He will never have to worry that his creepy Grandpa Jim Bob prefers long, curly locks. He can run around freshly crew-cutted.
3. HE CAN WEAR PANTS
This may be the best part of all. After watching his poor aunt Johannah trying to negotiate climbing onto a horse in a long skirt, the world saw just how hard life is if you are not allowed to wear pants. He is FREE, like his sinful cousin Amy.
4. No Cooking, Sewing Or Babysitting
He gets to do Manly Things like riding a tractor and being The Leader. No grunt work and baking pies for him!
5. He Can Be Unmarried Without Being Labeled A Spinster
His poor aunt Jana is in the news lately for being thought of as a “spinster” at the age of 24. Her twin brother John-David seems to escape any of that kind of talk even though he is not dating anyone either. Seems legit.