Pop Culture

Jill Duggar Clearly Had A Shotgun Wedding, Announces Pregnancy 30 Days Later

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jill-duggar-expectingJill Duggar (now Jill Dillard) and her husband Derrick Dillard announced today that they are expecting their first child. The couple notoriously didn’t even kiss until their wedding day, because Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar like to force abstinence on their adult children, hence clearly forcing them into shotgun weddings. Well someone had to say it. Let me be the first.

The couple wed on June 21 after a two-month engagement. They are expecting a baby in March. Hmm. That’s cutting it a little close if you ask me – let’s consider what would have had to happen to make this possible.  Jill would magically have had to been ovulating the night of her wedding – which Michelle and Jim Bob probably prayed on, so maybe it’s possible. Maybe all the Duggar women are just fertility goddesses, destined to shoot dozens of babies out of their vaginas. If you are going to repopulate the earth with the Duggar gene, you must start immediately. From E Online:

“About 30 days after Jill and Derick got married they gathered everyone in the living room and shared the news,” patriarch Jim Bob Duggar, 49, says. “Everyone was clapping and cheering, and we were in shock, too.”

Jill, 23, and Derick, 25, tied the knot on June 21 in Springdale, Ark. They didn’t hold hands until they got engaged in April. As newlyweds, the couple kissed for the first time in front of more than 1,000 people.

After several pregnancy tests came back negative, Jill’s sisters persuaded her to take one of mom Michelle Duggar’s tests while visiting her parents’ home. This time, the results came back positive.

Does Michelle Duggar possess magical pregnancy tests or something? Or maybe once you’re married and walk through her front door – Boom! Pregnant.

It’s strikes me as a little odd that they feel the need to share the news of a first pregnancy this soon – by my calculations the couple would only be about six or seven weeks along. What’s the rush? Maybe it doesn’t totally fit the definition of a shotgun wedding, because they clearly weren’t pregnant when they got engaged in April. But I’m not buying the no premarital sex thing anymore.

I’m not judging the couple – I am totally pro pre-marital sex. I just hate everything the Duggars stand for – they are anti-choice bigots who fight against equality while self-righteously bragging about how “pure” all of their children are. I love it when people like this are met with some kind of “scandal.” I don’t think pre-marital sex is scandalous at all – but they clearly do. I’d love it if they had to face some reality. Expecting a couple to marry before they even kiss is just dumb. Whose best interest is it in? Michelle and Jim Bob are so obsessed with their image – and they use their children to pat themselves on the back about what amazing parents they are all the time.

In my humble opinion, Jill and Derrick totally did the deed before their wedding night. Seriously.

(photo: Facebook)