Have you heard? Jessica Simpson is pregnant! Or so says In Touch Weekly magazine, which would never lie about such matters. Anyway, we’re happy for Simpson, who’s planning to marry baby-daddy Eric Johnson in November. She’s come a long way, from proud virgin to virgin-cocktail-drinker (that’s what an anonymous source told In Touch Simpson has been craving non-alcoholic margaritas). Anyhow, I hope her pregnancy goes smoothly, though I’m already feeling badly about the fact that she’s about to get ripped apart by the media big-time for gasp! gaining weight.
Yes, pregnant celebrities are all the rage right now (didn’t you know?). But that doesn’t mean that pregnant celebs actually look pregnant. In fact, they’re kind of expected not to. Take celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, for instance, who was always rather anorexic-looking. She went and got pregnant and then boom! she gained weight and started to look awesome (i.e., like a normal human being). But someone who could already stand to have gained a good 20 to 30 pounds in the first place isn’t exactly my idea of a pregnant role model.
Then you have those women Alyssa Milano and Pink, for example who actually looked pregnant but got totally burned for it. I remember reading a tweet by a pregnant Milano she gave birth to son Milo in August about how everyone asked her if she was expecting twins because she was so big. Again, she looked healthy and normal but, by Hollywood standards, that’s pretty much the equivalent of being obese!
Most celebs these days are quick to share their pregnancy cravings. Milano, for instance, said she craved nothing but broccoli. But Beyonce‘s seems more realistic; she’s been craving ketchup-dipped bananas (which just confirms my theory that being pregnant is a bit like being stoned for nine months straight). Along those lines, Simpson has reportedly been craving cheese-flavored popcorn and nacho chips dipped in chocolate (stoner!).
Whether or not these women give in to these cravings is irrelevant they’ll be harassed about their weight regardless. Which brings me back to Jessica Simpson, and the fact that the media will now be even more obsessed with her weight than usual. Kind of makes me glad to be part of the ‘regular folk’ population the kind that can devour ketchup chips and chocolate-covered almonds in peace.