Internet Garbage Fire DaddyOFive Apologize for Being Awful Humans

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Vloggers and total assholes Heather and Mike Martin of the YouTube channel DaddyOFive have recently come under intense scrutiny after the videos they made “pranking” their children were called out as child abuse. After fellow YouTuber Philip DeFranco made a video of his own about the Martins’ terrible videos, the internet responded with outrage, bombarding the family with angry messages. The parents originally responded with a video that basically said, “You’re just jealous haterz,” but someone with two brain cells has finally gotten through to them, and this week they released a formal apology video.

The apology video, titled, “DaddyOFive Founders Issue Public Apology,” features Heather and Mike Martin sitting in front of the camera wearing neat, business-like clothing. “Hello Team D-O-Five,” Heather starts in a calm, solemn voice I didn’t realize she was capable of, “this is going to be a bit of a different video than we usually do.” Choking back tears, she goes on to say,

“This has been the absolute worst week of our lives, and we realize we have made some terrible parenting decisions and we just wanna make things right.”

Uh, ya think? I’m not sure how filming yet another YouTube video is going to “make things right,” but go on, tell us about how sorry you are.

Willy ain't here for this shit

After explaining that they’ve taken the time to “stand back” and look at what they’ve done, dad Mike says he understands, acknowledges, and respects how everyone feels. “I agree that we put things on the internet that should not have been there and we did things that we should not do.” While Mike speaks, Heather’s mouth moves – is she reading along to a script, or just waiting for a moment to jump in? Hard to say.

Heather admits that, if she were a stranger watching her family’s videos, she would feel similarly to those who are upset.

“I would be like, “Oh my God, those poor children!”

The parents admit that the viral fame and money got to their heads. “The kids got excited about it and we went from something that wasn’t so bad and then we kept going more for the shock factor than reality, to see what could get more views.” Heather stated. She also says that the kids feel like they are partly to blame. You know, maybe because their parents are constantly screaming at them and they live in a state of anxiety? IDK, just spitballing here.

Finally, Heather Martin says something I completely agree with. “It’s not their fault, it’s not. We’re the parents, and we should have made better decisions.”

The Martins claim they are now in family counseling to help them with the media firestorm and to help them come together. “We just want to give our kids back some sort of normalcy,” Heather says. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. Also, the mom does like 90% of the talking in this video. What’s wrong, Mike? Too overcome by your douchebaggery to speak?

The internet is not buying this apology. The video has almost 100,000 dislikes, and commenters are. not. having. it.

Let me tell you why you suck
via YouTube
you are bad people
via YouTube
DaddyOFive, you suck
via YouTube

This might have been the only time in my life I’ve enjoyed reading YouTube comments.

Mike and Heather Martin, your 15 minutes is up. Please, stay off the internet and repair your family.

(Image: YouTube / @DaddyOFive)