10 Uber-Cheesy Parenting Quotes That Just Aren’t True

When you become a parent, you will be really, really scared. It helps if you know that in advance. The first year of parenting especially is going to put you through the wringer and make you question your existence. But when you come out unscathed on the other side””as you’re sure to””you’ll feel all kinds of bad ass.

It’s probably this overwhelmed, under-encouraged state that causes parents to cling to sappy parenting quotes on Facebook and Pinterest. Almost every parent I know has liked or shared a heartwarming quote or two. I’m certainly not above it.

Yes, I’m a sucker for parenting inspiration. Talking about parenting and spouting out vague cliches about tough times building character is what bands us all together, amirite? Parents are all over motivational sayings and beautiful plaques crafted on Etsy like flies on shit. I may or may not have eyeballed some inspirational parenting plaques for my own home decor.

Some parenting quotes are great, but others are blatantly obvious and/or make absolutely no sense. I’ve scrounged through stockpiles of parenting quotes to find 10 super cheesy parenting cliches that are absolute nonsense:

1. False. All parents will be promoted to grandparents if their child has a baby.

2. Nope. Sometimes the years are really long too.

3. Cute, but this is probably just not true.

4. There is no way to prove this.

5. You lost me at “stalk.”

6. Beautiful, but your kid probably wants an iPhone.

7. Cool story, but my kids will actually become individual people.

8. False, in some cases. Some jerks grow up to be jerk parents.

9. I don’t know, mom, that’s a lot of pressure to put on a little girl”¦

10. I still plan to have my wine with dinner, thanks.

(Image: Pinterest)