If Your School Prank Involves Cruelty to Animals, You’re Just the Worst

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I don’t know what it is about school pranksters that makes them think they’re so original, but literally everybody has heard the one about releasing three pigs in the school and numbering them 1, 2, and 4, so administrators spend the whole day looking for the missing fourth pig. Releasing animals in the school isn’t a particularly clever or original prank. It’s basically the default prank for kids who think they’re funny but whose humor abilities peak at copying an urban legend they read about on the Internet.

The only way to “improve” on the “I released some animals at the school. Witness me!” prank is to either release a whole ton of animals–like the assholes who released 72,000 ladybugs in their high school last year–or to release shocking and dangerous animals, like the assholes who just released three saltwater crocodiles in their school.

According to ABC News Australia, four young men released three saltwater crocodiles into an administrative office at Taminmin College this week. School officials were startled, but mostly it seems like they were worried about the animals, because nobody who thinks, “I’ll just release it in a school office overnight. That’s a responsible thing to do with this animal I’ve just taken responsibility for.” is making sure the animals are healthy and well cared-for.

In fact, all three had their mouths taped shut, and security camera footage of the incident shows the crocodiles were pushed into the office through a hole in the door. The hole was about head-height on the young men in question, and the frightened crocodile dropped probably around five feet to the floor before another crocodile was pushed through after him. They were not huge crocodiles–the largest one was about two meters long including the tail–and they appeared to struggle frantically on the way down.

This is not how you treat animals, people. Animals do not want to be part of some jackass’ hilarious prank.

The school called a ranger to come catch and care for the animals, and the ranger said all three were in poor physical condition. Their mouths were taped up, and the ranger said “They haven’t seen water for a long time and are undernourished.”

If caught, the young men could face animal cruelty charges with fines of up to about $38,000 in U.S. dollars. Personally, I deeply hope they get caught and penalized. “Boys will be boys” and “it was just a joke” are not defenses against punishment for being an utter asshole.