Pour Out The Faygo: Juggalos Are Now A Gang, According To The FBI

ICPPoor Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J. In what is undeniably a sad day for those among us who like to spray paint our faces with clown makeup and drink Faygo until the teeth rot out of our faces, the Justice Department has thrown out the lawsuit that the Insane Clown Posse brought against the FBI for classifying Juggalos as a “gang”.

According to the A.V. Club, the ruling has two important implications. First, that yes, it’s official: Juggalos are a gang now.

“A judge has thrown out Insane Clown Posse’s lawsuit against the FBI, saying the government has every right to categorize the band’s fans as gang members. The suit stemmed from a 2011 report that the law enforcement organization had tagged Juggalos as a ”loosely organized hybrid gang”””something both Juggalos and ICP members Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J didn’t appreciate.”

Second, if you are down with the clown til your dead in the ground, you can still kind of relax because that doesn’t necessarily mean anyone is going to come crashing through your door to arrest you. The courts stipulated that the FBI’s gang report “does not recommend any particular course of action for local law enforcement to follow.” If you’re confused, at least know you’re not the only one:

So basically it just means that police in the vicinity of Juggalos aren’t required to crack down on them just for looking like idiots. It’s up to law enforcement to do what they deem necessary with the classification. Some Juggalos are still doing a sad whoop-whoop though because part of enfolding yourself in the loving embrace of the Juggalo family doesn’t mean that you have to pass any kind of reading comprehension test.


Mostly, though, the entire thing has been met with indifference and hilarious, hilarious jokes from everybody except the disgruntled “ninjas” themselves.

ICP comments

And why? Because it’s funny, that’s why. I think most of the reaction to this entire thing has been one of baffled amusement. I mean, I don’t think anyone really believes that the Insane Clown Posse is a gang in the way that we imagine gangs, but there is something decidedly gang-like about them, from the lingo to the hand signals to yes, some of the violence. While it seems overblown I do certainly appreciate the chance to pull out a bunch of ICP jokes and poke fun at Juggalos, a common staple from my youth in central Pennsylvania where they would menace the bowling alley patrons and swear at old people.

Of course, this is not the end:

“…Juggalos aren’t taking the decision lightly. In a statement released by the ACLU, Violent J says that this isn’t ‘the end’ to the case, adding that Psychopathic Records will ‘keep fighting to clear the Juggalo family name.’ ‘While it’s easy to fear what one does not understand,’ he concludes, ‘discrimination and bigotry against any group of people is just plain wrong and un-American.'”

And while I’m kind of squicked out that ICP is  comparing themselves to any group that’s been discriminated against, when they have such fine lyrics under their belt as;

Bitch, I admit it, I’m quick to hit a woman hey
But that’s okay, cause bitch, I’m Violent J
And I’m a southwest mack daddy juggalo
And you’re nothing but a two-bit stankin’ ho

they are correct in that nothing is more American than drinking shitty soda, loitering, and the freedom to go around looking like an asshole.


(Image: Facebook)

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