I Feel So Much Pressure To Have A Boy
We can all agree that first and foremost we want a healthy baby. However, can we also agree that gender is also important? I thrive on pressure â€“ including deadlines â€“ but when it came to the pressure I felt to have a boy, it was overwhelming and actually kept me up at night.
I canâ€™t even guesstimate how many times I told my fiancÃ©, â€œWell, itâ€™s your sperm that makes the baby,â€ while we waited to find out the gender of our baby. The thing is, he really wanted a boy. He has two girls already, and I have a daughter, and then thereâ€™s me, and, boy, let me tell you, thatâ€™s a lot of estrogen in one room. When we go out for dinner, my poor fiancÃ© has to wait until all of us are showered, dressed and our hair is done.
In my house, you canâ€™t walk two steps without stepping on a hair elastic and, at his place, though he is practically bald, there are more brushes because of us gals (all with long hair) than can be found at a hair salon. There is also a lot of girlie underwear everywhere and a lot of talk about boys. In less than five years, in our house, there will be four of us â€œwomenâ€ having our period and, who knows, we could all have it at the same time and as a woman I can even say, â€œUm, yeah. Thatâ€™s so not going to be fun for you!â€
Yes, my poor fiancÃ© needs a boy, even though he is pretty good at waiting around for us while we get manicures or try on clothes. But the pressure to have a boy wasnâ€™t just from him. It was also from our kids. All of them â€“ ALL OF THEM â€“ wanted me to have a boy. I suppose, between the three of them, they thought having a boy would be kind of a novelty. They had already done the sister thing. And so the buying spree began. His daughters would pick out sleepers with skulls and crossbones. They bought a baby hat with motorcycles on it. My fiancÃ© has picked out shirts with only numbers on it and sports themes (â€œDaddyâ€™s Little Kicker!â€). This all before I even found out the gender. [tagbox tag=”gender”]
I kept telling everyone, â€œStop pressuring me!â€ Because I couldnâ€™t take it. To have one person be disappointed in me is hard enough. To have four people counting on me to pop out a baby with a penis was killing me. I kept saying to my fiancÃ©, â€œBut if we have a little girl, then youâ€™ll be king of the castle.â€ To which heâ€™d reply, â€œWe need a little boy around here.â€ Or Iâ€™d say, â€œBut we already have girls, so we know what to do. I donâ€™t know what to do with a little penis and neither do you!â€ To which heâ€™d reply, â€œWe need a little boy around here.â€ Or Iâ€™d say, â€œAre you going to break up with me if I have a girl?â€ To which heâ€™d reply, â€œWe need a little boy around here.â€
On the day of my sonogram, where Iâ€™d get to find out the gender, I was literally shaking. The odds were not in my favor. I had a 50-50 shot on â€œwinning,â€ which is how I came to see it. But the truth was, I was the only one who would have been thrilled with another girl. But I also kind of grew to really want a boy, because of everyone else wanting me to have a boy.
Of course, when we went in and I asked for the sex, the technician told me she had to give the results to my obstetrician first. I get that she was just doing her job, but I sat up, practically grabbing onto her lab coat and said, â€œYou donâ€™t understand. I need to know right now! We have three girls and my boyfriend needs to know.â€ (I threw in some tears for good measure.) â€œJust nod if itâ€™s a boy. You donâ€™t have to say anything. Iâ€™m just going to say, â€˜Itâ€™s a boy, right?â€™ and then you nod!â€ She ended up being pretty nice and did what I asked.
When my boyfriend-turned-fiancÃ© was allowed in the room, I told him the news. You want to make a grown man cry? Well, you want to make a grown man who is already living most days with four females cry? Tell him youâ€™re havingâ€¦a boy! Yes, my fiancÃ© wept a little and would later tell me that he cried three times that day.
Even though I really had nothing to do with the gender, Iâ€™m using it as much as I can. Donâ€™t even ask me how many times, when Iâ€™ve wanted my fiancÃ© to do something for me, have I said, â€œIâ€™m carrying YOUR son!â€ Boy oh boy. Iâ€™m having a boy!
Did you feel pressured, one way or another, to have a certain gender?