Back To School: 10 Reasons I’m So Sad For My Kid To Start School Again
I’ve posted before about not exactly being eager for the school year to start back up and now that we are down to less than two weeks before the first day, I feel the need to whine again. I can’t even with the new school year- here in cold NY, we barely even got a summer and my daughter broke two bones so it’s been a big pile of poop. My son is starting kindergarten and he’s terrified and miserable over it so our house is just a big bundle of nerves and unhappiness. Summer, please stay- we are so not ready to accept this! Here are my 10 reasons I do not want school to start again:
1. I Do Not Want To Wake Up Before The Sun
Summer means we sleep later. I like sleeping later. People who enjoy rising before the sun are freaks.
2. I Do Not Want To Help Anyone With Homework
Seriously. I’m super not down with math. Don’t want to do it again.
3. I Do Not Want To Make Stupid Lunches
And now, we have both kids in school-so I get to make TWO stupid lunches.
4. I Do Not Want To Spend Money On School Supplies
I want to spend it on make-up instead. And the thought of having to elbow a fellow parent for the last 100-page wide-rule black and white composition notebook is vastly unappealing. Any mother who says she would rather buy Crayola than Sephora is a lying liar smothered in lie sauce.
5. I Do Not Want To Shop For New School Clothes
The kids get picky, the clothes fit for two months, everything gets stained anyway, why bother. I mean, I can see how you would enjoy this, especially if your name starts with “T” and ends with “A” rhymes with Shmeresa, and you don’t mind teaching your child a little materialism early on in life.
6. I Do Not Want After-School Activities To Start Up Again
Our evenings are already busy enough. I am not ready to shuttle little people to and from soccer practice again. I’m also a little busy actually caring for my children instead of napping my life away, Shmeresa.
7. I Do Not Want To Sell Cookie Dough
My kid’s school has been raising funds for a new playground for the past two years. Just throw some bales of hay and a few old tires out there and call it good. No one wants $16 cookie dough.
8. I Do Not Want To Volunteer At The School
There is so much pressure to help out. Why can’t I just send my kids to school and not have to do anything else? Aren’t my taxes enough?!
9. I Do Not Want To Hear The Friend Drama
I don’t want to hear the blow by blow of what Sophia said to Ava G. at the lunch table. I simply give no shits. If you enjoy this kind of thing, maybe you should chill out a little and bring the old helicopter blades to a stop.
10. I Do Not Want To Buy More Teacher Gifts
I would rather buy myself gifts instead. People who buy teacher gifts are suck-ups anyway.
(Image: MNStudio/Shutterstock)
