I Convince Myself I’m Pregnant Each And Every Month

I’ve been trying to get pregnant again for several years. A few miscarriages but no good news to report. I love children. I want more of them. Badly.

So each and every month, I convince myself that the baby is going to arrive in about 9 months. I’m doing it right now. Like, in reality, I’ll probably just get my period tomorrow or the next day. But until the moment that happens, I’m convinced that these symptoms are about the unborn baby developing in my womb.

For instance, my breasts are very sore. I remember that when I was pregnant with my first child, my breasts were just incredibly tender. I’m pregnant.

I am also utterly convinced that my breasts are slightly swollen. I spent 15 minutes looking in the mirror and I’m just sure this is because I’m pregnant.

And I’m really tired. Now, it could be that I’m tired because I’ve pulled five all-nighters in the last week while working on a big deadline. But couldn’t it also be that I’m fatigued because I’m pregnant? Clearly, I’m pregnant.

I might be nauseous. Of course, I’m been mildly nauseous for the last year. But I’m sure that today’s nausea is because I’m pregnant.

My back is aching. I mean, it’s just killing me. I remember that my back ached during my earlier pregnancies. You might point out that I also did quite a bit of weight lifting last week in Crossfit. And whenever I do that, it makes my back ache. But I’m pretty sure that this lower back ache is because I’m pregnant. I can tell the difference, thank you very much.

Oh, and I got a blistering headache yesterday. I remember my OB-GYN telling me that the sudden rise in hormones when you’re pregnant can lead to headaches. So that’s probably why I have one. It’s probably not because I’ve been withdrawing from a caffeine binge from those all-nighters.

When I stood in front of the mirror, I kind of thought my areolas were just ever-so-slightly touch darker. Just like they get when you’re pregnant.

So there you have it. I’m clearly pregnant. The fact that most of these symptoms also happen to be the symptoms you get when that baby house you made during the month gets flushed out of the system is not relevant, ok? And the fact that I was sure I had all of these early pregnancy symptoms not 30 days ago is also not relevant.

I’m pretty sure this time is for real. I’m pregnant. Should we call him Gavin? Or what about Roy? I always liked the name Roy.

(Photo: DeanHarty/Shutterstock)