home working moms
Husbands Are The Natural Enemy Of Work-At-Home Moms
When you think of work-at-home moms, you probably envision a harried woman in yoga pants desperately trying to accomplish something while children buzz around her and something burns in the toaster. You might be right, although I am lucky my kids are in elementary school so unless they have a day off, I am afforded sweet, sweet silence. On the days they are home, I am usually able to occupy them long enough to get some work done. It is not ideal but we do what we have to do. The person I have not figured out how to occupy is my husband. I love the man more than life itself but when he is home on a day where I have to work, it becomes difficult to get anything done. Without a doubt, husbands are the natural enemy of work-at-home moms.
Luckily, my husband is not the dependent sort. He does not need me to cook him breakfast, wash his clothes or clean up after him. He was a bachelor living on his own for years before I met him and is very self-sufficient in that respect. The reasons I cannot get work done with him home have nothing to do with him needing me to wait on him. The biggest problem, that causes all of the other problems, is that he is SO loud. I have told him for years that although I know he means nothing by it, the man is not able to exist quietly. He is almost six feet tall and over 200 pounds so by merely walking down the hallway he is being distracting- he would make a terrible ninja. Unless I remind him to stop, he chews loudly. He watches YouTube videos on the iPad and I have to beg him to stick in headphones so I can do my work and even then, he guffaws at something funny or pauses the video and tells me to come over so I can watch it too. He also asks me questions and strikes up a conversation whenever he feels the urge.
He means well. He is a sweet guy and would never try to bother me on purpose. He works full-time and we have two small children- we don’t get many days off together and obviously, we enjoy hanging out so his intentions are solid. This still does not change the fact that when he is talking to me and clanking dishes around in the sink I cannot get anything done.
I have told him. I have told him several times. He apologizes, says he understands and we are good for 10 or 15 minutes and then, he just….forgets. I haven’t worked from home for long so we are still getting used to the dynamic and our schedule, particularly on days where he is off from work, so I realize he is still trying to figure out our “new normal”. He doesn’t totally understand why I need quiet to do what I do and seeing me at home, working at the kitchen table, it hasn’t really clicked for him that this is my “office.” I have tried asking him how he would like it if I stomped around near his office at work and asked him questions and played videos on the iPad within his range of hearing. He says “Yes, I know, you’re right- I’m sorry” but things have yet to fully click in his mind.
I know we will get there and believe me, I am beyond grateful that I have a spouse who enjoys my company and wants to chat with me all the time but he needs to learn to respect the work I am doing and act accordingly. Like all things in marriage, we will work on it and everything will be fine but for now? Ugh, stop chewing your cereal so loudly and GO DOWNSTAIRS so I can write!