This Husband Would Like To Use His Wife’s Breast Milk To Make A Delicious Mushroom Sauce, No Big

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shutterstock_147444134__1375013567_142.196.156.251I have job envy. I’d really like to be Dear Prudence. People respect her opinion and are dying for her opinion and are always asking for her opinion. People usually just yell at me when they hear mine. Not fair. On this beautiful Sunday morning, I am going to morph into Prudence and answer one of her reader’s questions.

Dear Prudence,

I am a new mother of a lovely 4-month-old baby girl. My husband has been curious about my lactation, and I allowed him to taste some (from a bottle that I pumped). Now, he wants more. He thinks this sweet, fatty milk product would be perfect for a creamy mushroom pasta sauce. This disgusts me. Turning breast milk into food for adults feels a bit like making margaritas from my sweat. My husband argues that since we have plenty of supply and it wouldn’t hurt the baby, I should just let him try it and get over my repulsion. Am I being unreasonable?

—Lactating Lady


Dear Lactating Lady,

Your husband sounds like a total weirdo. If he wants a sweet, fatty milk product, tell him to add some sugar to heavy cream and call it a day.

— Maria

I don’t want to drink my breast milk. I don’t want my husband to drink my breast milk. Breast milk is for babies. You’re not convenience store, you’re a lactating mother. What’s next – is he going to want to dip some Oreos in a nice, tall glass of it? Are you going to have to work overtime to keep up your supply for your baby and whatever newfangled recipe your foodie husband decides would work better with breast milk? I’m pretty sure there is a reason why breast milk has never been listed as an ingredient in any cookbook, ever.

My husband tasted my breast milk once. He said he wasn’t comfortable giving anything to the baby that he hadn’t tried. He also tried the formula and the first batch of baby food I made. Whatever. I thought it was a little weird. I would have thought it was really weird if he wanted to come back for seconds. Why? Because he can just drink regular milk that can be purchased and not produced in my mammary glands. I don’t need the extra work, thank you very much.

(photo: Africa Studio/ Shutterstock)