Hulk’s Sex Tape & Mom’s DUI – Man, It Must Suck To Be A Hogan Kid Today

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brooke nick hoganYou know I’ve been following celebrity media coverage for too long. When I saw that Hulk Hogan has a sex tape leaked today and Linda Hogan got a DUI last night, I immediately assumed that the family was shopping another reality show. I mean, in the world of reality television programming, bad behavior normally equals good publicity.

Then I dialed back my cynical side and realized, today must be a really hard day for the Hogan kids. Like, unbelievably, horribly, hide-in-bed-with-a-pillow-over-your-head kind of hard day.

First, there’s the whole business of your father having a sex tape. No, I’m not going to get all “Eww Gross!” about parents having sex. Obviously, we’re pro-sex here at Mommyish. I can even say that I hope my parents have a happy and healthy sex life. I think most mature people realize that people don’t stop having sex once they reach a certain age. And most of us hope that when we hit age 50 or 60 or 70 that we’ll still be happy with our bedroom life.

That being said, there’s a huge difference between being able to acknowledge that sex happens, somewhere, at sometime, when you don’t have to know anything about it, and actually seeing your parent have sex. There’s a huge difference between accepting that your dad might be sleeping with someone and having everyone you’ve ever known see photographic evidence of this event on the internet.

The Hulk has been furiously trying to get the tape taken down. He says it was taken without his knowledge and published without his permission. He might have a small problem proving his claim though, since he seems to be speaking with someone as the video starts who tells him and his lady friend, “You guys do your thing.” Either way, there’s a pretty detailed description of the tape and it’s contents over at Gawker, and while I’m sure the Hogan kids won’t want to look themselves, it’s hard to imagine that no one they know will get curious.

That was first blow to poor Brooke and Nick Hogan. Now, there’s news that Linda Hogan was arrested last night on suspicion of DUI. For those of you who don’t keep track of reality show families, there was a nasty divorce between Hulk and Linda a while back when the mother of two started dating her kids’ friend, a man who was less than half of the matriarchs age. The couple has since split up.

So a dad with a sex tape and a mom in jail. It’s sad to say that while my own immediate questions about a reality show were mostly snark, there’s probably a reality television producer at VH1 making phone calls and asking if Dr. Phil will get involved in the project. I know that these kids have lived plenty of their lives in the spotlight, but I have a feeling that this one of those days when they wish they’d never seen a camera lens.

(Photo: Judy Eddy /