Complaining About Your Kids Will Make You A Better Mother
Gather round because I have some cutting-edge, late-breaking, uber-fancy scientific research to share with you. And by scientific research, I mean a personal anecdote from my life that is obviously very true. I can guarantee you beyond a shadow of a doubt that complaining will make you a better mother.
If youâ€™re here, youâ€™ve embraced the spirit of snarkiness. You are in a safe place. You are very, very welcome. The whole reason that I was attracted to Mommyish in the first place is because, in my humble opinion, it felt like the most honest place on the Internet for me as a new parent. Now, this isnâ€™t a direct plug for Mommyish by any means; Iâ€™m just one parenting blogger expressing my opinion.
But I have noticed an interesting paradox. There are those parents who enjoy poking fun at their kids because it feels oh-so-good, kind of like puking after a wild night of drinking. The perfect end to a rager that will put you right to sleep. There are other parents who attack the snarkiness of such parents because, I believe, it makes them feel guilty.
The only reason I point this out is because I can identify. Parenting is a really hard jobâ€”nay, relationship. Iâ€™m two and a half years in, and I still donâ€™t know if Iâ€™m doing it right. The way I see it, there are two different ways I could cope. I could try my hardest to hold everything together and put up a good front so that other people would believe that I believe Iâ€™m doing a good job, orâ€¦ I could make fun of myself and my kids.
Option number one is primarily the way I lived most of my life. I felt so insecure and unsafe, but I always tried to be perfect. Suffice it to say, this was a huge turnoff for most people. I had more than one friend accuse me of being a hypocrite, a liar, and a fake. It wasnâ€™t until my husband and I reunited after high school that he challenged me to be more honest. It was really, really hard, and it still challenges me today. But I finally saw that there was another option besides trying to please everyone. I could be myself, I could be self-deprecating, and I could not take lifeâ€™s shitty circumstances too seriously.
This has served me well as a parenting philosophy. I love my kids, and I am so serious about them. No one knows that I spend precious moments at night smelling their hair and sitting quietly with them while reading a book, and nobody would read a blog about that. But weâ€™re all in this together, arenâ€™t we?
Parenting is hard, and from what Iâ€™ve heard, it doesnâ€™t get easierâ€”it just gets different. If you canâ€™t complain about your kids and vent and make fun of them behind their backs, you might implode. No parent is perfect, so please donâ€™t try to be. Nine out of 10 professional scientists agree that you will be a better mother if you complain regularly about your children.
(Image:Â Levent Konuk/Shutterstock)