I’m Not Sold On This Baby Proofing Business

He scared the crap out of me, looking at my custom made banisters, which are wrought iron with flowery swirls that apparently are now banned in new houses. “See, he could climb on this swirl and then up this on and then fall over to the first floor,” baby proofer said. I hadn’t even thought about that. But I almost had a heart attack, thinking about it. The next day I got an invoice for $1600 for all the things he suggested for ten rooms in my house, including coverings for my fireplaces.

I never really believed in baby proofing, aside from baby gates. The truth is, someone should be watching the baby at all times, especially this one since we know his curious personality. I can easily move all the wires up to a higher shelf. I mean, yes, the little dude can move fast. But if I was going to baby proof the entire house with all the baby proofers suggestions, I swear, I’d feel like I was living in an insane asylum with padded walls. And, even if we did cover the fireplaces, am I still going to leave the baby in a room with a fire going on? Hum, no.

The truth is, I hurt myself all the time in my house. It needs to be adult proofed more than it needs to be baby proofed. I stub my toe almost every day on the same chair. My clothing racks in my bedroom are so full, they collapse. Sometimes on top of me. I somehow manage to bang my head on my bedside table when I’m trying to turn off my alarm. And my hardwood floors are so slippery that sometimes I need to go barefoot just to walk to the kitchen without falling.

I do believe babies will learn on their own what they should and shouldn’t get into. You just have to be diligent parents as well. Crawl around like a baby, and you will see what the baby sees. And, yes, he will get hurt, but babies are dumb. Then they become not so dumb.

My daughter, when she was a baby, crawled across the couch and fell off because she didn’t realize the couch ended. She never did that again. So, yes, I will get some Plexiglas to cover my banisters and some baby gates. But the rest is up to my family to make sure our baby doesn’t pick up a hot hair straightener or get his hands stuck in a drawer. You can baby proof your entire house, but I still think that babies will get into something.

Of course, if this baby proofer looked as hot as the one that was around when my daughter was a baby, who knows. Maybe I would shell out the $1600.

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