In case you hadn’t heard the rumors, Mommyish would like to inform you that the world’s favorite Sanctimommy is expecting baby number 2 with her famous football hubbie. That’s right, Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady are pregnant again!
Everyone has a celebrity that they irrationally despise (right?) and I have to admit that Gisele is mine. I mean, what’s not to resent about a millionaire model? But I somehow don’t feel rage whenever Miranda Kerr speaks. Alessandra Ambrosio doesn’t make my eye twitch. It’s really just Gisele.
To be fair, the lanky Brazilian lady hasn’t helped herself out in the PR department. In case anyone forgot the gems that she threw out about her last pregnancy, let me remind you of my favorite Gisele quotes.
When talking about her weight gain, she didn’t just explain her own approach. She took the time to call other women “garbage disposals.” Maybe something got lost in translation, but I’m pretty sure this soundbite is offensive in every language. “I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week. I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds.” So much for mother’s supporting one another, right?
Then, there was the actual labor discussions. Gisele was quick to explain that she didn’t take any of those wussy painkillers. Not for this supermom. “I wanted to be conscious and present for what was happening… I didn’t want to be anesthetized. I wanted to feel.” I like to think that I was present for my daughter’s labor, even if I was pathetic enough to need an epidural. I always thought that I had a pretty smooth and easy delivery, but it was nothing compared to the model’s. “It wasn’t painful, not even a little bit.” I mean, even if that’s true, it’s just plain bragging to say, right?
Even better, if you didn’t have a perfect labor, Gisele thinks that you should have been better prepared. ”It’s called ‘labour’ not ‘holiday’ for a reason, and I knew that.”
Really, by the time the breastfeeding quotes came around, I was already done listening to this serious sanctimommy. Just in case you forget about the model’s most infamous and controversial motherhood statement, I’ll refresh your memory. “Some people here [in the U.S.] think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?’ I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”
Listen, I’m sure Gisele is not nearly as bad as her soundbites make her out to be. Because seriously, no one can feel this superior to the rest of the world all the time. But I do hope that she tones it down with Baby No. 2.
Gisele, if you’re reading, find a little humor in the process. Hell, admit that it’s not always perfect or easy. No one will look down on you for that. In fact, we’ll appreciate it a lot more than the story about your second all-natural, completely pain-free miracle delivery.
(Photo: Gossip Cop)