Parents Are Naming Their Kids After the ‘Real’ Reasons They Had Them and It’s Amazing
Everyone has their own personal reasons for having kids. But if we got really honest about it, I mean REALLY honest, those reasons probably wouldn’t make it into the baby book. Parents on Twitter are sharing what their kids’ names would be if they were named after the REAL reasons they were born. The honest kids’ names are hilarious and too real.
Image: Giphy
Honest kids’ names are what your sweet children would be named, if you picked a name based on the real reason they were born. Honest Toddler’s Mom tweeted out the idea, and people responded with gusto.
If we named kids after the reason we had them it’d be like, “Hey Marital Problems stop hitting Broken Condom I’m trying to put Hennessy down for a nap.”
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) November 22, 2017
Can you imagine how many little Broken Condoms would be in your kid’s class? They better have middle names so teachers can tell them apart.
https://twitter.com/mominiquematti/status/933345748208574464
“Taco Truck! Stop pulling Mimosa’s hair!”
https://twitter.com/eestes30/status/933349654254809088
Honestly though, who could resist diamonds?
A Second Will Keep the First Occupied would play with Let's Be Parents Cause It'll Be Fun!
— Lesbian dance theory teacher (@francesthoughts) November 22, 2017
Kids are kind of like potato chips, in that you can’t have just one.
We just name ours Fresh and Frozen
— Clom (@SezClom) November 23, 2017
FRESH AND FROZEN. I cannot.
"Happy First Anniversary, let Efficacy of the Pill is Reduced by the Use of Antibiotics have a turn on the Xbox."
— Good Dog, Blue. 🐶 (@sasimmons) November 22, 2017
Listen, do you want to get rid of your sinus infection, or do you want an oops baby? You have to choose.
"hey, DesperateForaBaby, keep WowThatWasEasierThanIThought away from Surpriseat43"
— Alexandra Rosas (@GDRPempress) November 22, 2017
Sometimes it really is THAT easy.
https://twitter.com/SewSoDef/status/933344540374786048
Sex Education is a good name for kid.
We call him Vegas, short for "What happens in Las Vegas does not stay in Las Vegas"
— Jan G (@J_Mu_G) November 22, 2017
Vegas is sneaky like that. They don’t want you to think about the stuff that doesn’t stay in Vegas, like herpes and pregnancies.
How many Netflix and Chill's would be born by 2020 I wonder 🤔
— Jodi 🇯🇲 Landon (@CodeName_Petty) November 22, 2017
Netflix and Chill is very misleading.
Look how nice Monthly Missionary and What do you mean twins are playing together! They must want something from us.
— JC (@jordancardillo) November 22, 2017
It only takes one time! And sometimes you get a twofer.
Photo Prop
— Y’all Reubens (@iFilth) November 22, 2017
Oops, there go all the cute mommyblogger kid’s names!
That's why I have two dogs named "Test Kid" and "Hard Pass."
— Kuhs I Said So 🧟♀️ (@DinnerClubRVA) November 22, 2017
It’s way cheaper to test your parental capabilities on a dog first. Like, waaaaaaaay cheaper.
Mine would be … "Clock is Ticking" and "Rhythm Method"
— MM (@msmatt1017) November 22, 2017
“Weeeeeeee are the kids of the Rhythm Method!”
Then Actually Tried For saunters in like she owns the damn place.
— Maggie Wiggin (@maggie162) November 22, 2017
Hey, they’re not ALL accidental!
OK, so spill: what are your honest kids’ names? My daughters Holy Crap I’m Fertile and What Do You Mean the Pill Can Just STOP WORKING are currently snuggled up on the couch together.
Also read:
- This Viral Scary Sonogram Photo Is Legitimately Terrifying
- 20 Essential Products New Moms Need Their First Day Home
(Image: Twitter / HonestToddler)
