10 Reasons Why I Would Be A Horrible Home-Schooling Mom

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shutterstock_176500682Growing up, I was an average student. Well, a very good student in the subjects I enjoyed and a very poor student in subjects I could not understand. This combined to make me average overall and I was alright with that. I loved school, I really did, but I know my place and it is certainly not shaping the youth of America. Particularly, my own youth of America. I know I am not cut out for home-schooling my children at all.

All of this is to say that bottom line, my respect for trained, professional teachers is immense and I am nowhere near bold, intelligent or confident enough to say that my untrained self could even come close to the job they can do. I am simply a commoner and I am more than happy to let the teacher’s do their thang. There are about a million reasons that I would be a horrible home-schooling mom but I’ve narrowed it down to just 10:


1. Math Makes Me Sweat Like A Whore In Church

I hate math. It truly makes me a nervous wreck. The last time I had to take a math course was in 2001 when I was forced to complete Math 101 as a general education requirement for my college degree. I did a dance of joy that for the rest of my life, I could be completely calculator dependent and would never again have to think about the radius of a circle and what X equals. I would rather shove hot bamboo shoots under my nails than do it all over again.


2. I Am A Distracted Procrastinator

I always get my work done eventually but I am easily distracted. Shiny objects? Ellen’s on? I cannot pass this awful trait on to my children and I’m afraid if they saw me all day they would absorb my horrible ways.


3. I Love Fun Too Much

If I were home with my grade school kids all day, the temptation would be too great to play a rousing game of The Incredible Hulk Destroys Barbie’s Dreamhouse. It is hard enough for me to buckle down and do the half hour’s worth of homework my daughter typically had over the last school year. I cannot imagine having the discipline to do that all day, every day.


4. I Love TV Too Much

I don’t watch much TV during the week because I’m barely home but if I were home all day? There would be no stopping me.

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