10 Reasons Why I Would Be A Horrible Home-Schooling Mom

Growing up, I was an average student. Well, a very good student in the subjects I enjoyed and a very poor student in subjects I could not understand. This combined to make me average overall and I was alright with that. I loved school, I really did, but I know my place and it is certainly not shaping the youth of America. Particularly, my own youth of America. I know I am not cut out for home-schooling my children at all.

All of this is to say that bottom line, my respect for trained, professional teachers is immense and I am nowhere near bold, intelligent or confident enough to say that my untrained self could even come close to the job they can do. I am simply a commoner and I am more than happy to let the teacher’s do their thang. There are about a million reasons that I would be a horrible home-schooling mom but I’ve narrowed it down to just 10:

 

1. Math Makes Me Sweat Like A Whore In Church

I hate math. It truly makes me a nervous wreck. The last time I had to take a math course was in 2001 when I was forced to complete Math 101 as a general education requirement for my college degree. I did a dance of joy that for the rest of my life, I could be completely calculator dependent and would never again have to think about the radius of a circle and what X equals. I would rather shove hot bamboo shoots under my nails than do it all over again.

 

2. I Am A Distracted Procrastinator

I always get my work done eventually but I am easily distracted. Shiny objects? People.com? Ellen’s on? I cannot pass this awful trait on to my children and I’m afraid if they saw me all day they would absorb my horrible ways.

 

3. I Love Fun Too Much

If I were home with my grade school kids all day, the temptation would be too great to play a rousing game of The Incredible Hulk Destroys Barbie’s Dreamhouse. It is hard enough for me to buckle down and do the half hour’s worth of homework my daughter typically had over the last school year. I cannot imagine having the discipline to do that all day, every day.

 

4. I Love TV Too Much

I don’t watch much TV during the week because I’m barely home but if I were home all day? There would be no stopping me.

 

5. My Kids Would Take Over Within Days

I would try to fight it but since I have a weak resolve when it comes to The Fun, I have the feeling my kids would rail-road me pretty quickly and we wouldn’t get much done. There are only so many battles I can fight and the 10th time I heard whining about doing math homework (from them, not me) I would probably relent and put on Cars 2.

 

6. My Patience Is Not The Greatest

When I try to help my kids learn a new concept, I have to continually remind myself that they are only little kids. I have not snapped at them over this sort of thing yet but I feel like teaching them all day by myself is a recipe for an eventual Mommy Dearest-style disaster.

 

7. I’m Not Good At Activity Scheduling

I am the kind of person where if I am not required to be somewhere I go nowhere. I love staying at home and I love being lazy. I know home-schooled children are supposed to go to special gym classes at the YMCA, trips to the museum, music lessons, social groups with other home-schooled kids, whatever. I cannot think of anything less appealing than having to cart my kids all over in order to give them a complete education when I could just send them to regular school where it’s all under one roof.

 

8. I’m Better At Doing Than Teaching

I am great at spelling and reading. I could not tell you how to learn to spell or read, I just know that I can do it. To me, it would be like trying to explain to someone how to take breaths. I love doing it, have no idea how I would teach it.

 

9. I’m Not A Certified Teacher

I know there are many great home-schooling moms who are not certified teachers and that is perfectly fine for them. As for me, I hail from a family of many teachers and I have a healthy respect for the job they do and also a healthy fear of how difficult it can be. I know I am not capable. So, I am very glad that they are.

 

10. I Love My “Me Time” Too Much

Having to supervise my children all day while they attempt to learn would make me feel hemmed in and claustrophobic. Without them being at school all day, I would feel like I never got a break. I know how that sounds but at least I am being honest with myself and not doing my children a disservice by pretending I do not feel that way.

(Image: Goodluz/Shutterstock)