Someone Made High Heels for Babies, and I Can’t Look Away

By  | 

Legend has it that Hemingway was once asked to write the shortest story he could imagine, and in just six words he created a heartbreaking modern tragedy: “For sale: Baby shoes. High heels.”

Yes, if you are looking for something to go with the little bow that you glued to your infant daughter’s head to let people know that she is a girl, and a stylin’ one, you can buy a pair of high-heeled crib shoes designed to make her look like a sassy, swanky, wild child. (Those are actually the product names.)


(Pee Wee Pumps)

Pee Wee Pumps are little high heels for babies. They basically look like regular baby shoes, but with a heel jutting off the bottom. That means they’re basically as safe as any crib shoes for a baby’s tiny feet, but it also means that they don’t really look like high heels. They look more like little claws. (Who was it who suggested using the Girlie Glue to put little horns on babies? Because adding a pair of red feet claws might make this transformation really fierce.)

Pee Wee Pumps seem to mostly be a joke, akin to one of those yarn baby hats that gives kids hair like a Cabbage Patch Kid. Of course, the most fun part about any ridiculous baby product is the images of babies actually wearing the things, so check out these babies in their little high heels.

A post shared by Pee Wee Pumps (@peeweepumps) on

That baby’s face is perfect.

A post shared by Pee Wee Pumps (@peeweepumps) on

This baby does not know what high heels are, but she does know that they are going in her mouth. 

A post shared by Pee Wee Pumps (@peeweepumps) on

That baby is here for this.

A post shared by Pee Wee Pumps (@peeweepumps) on

That baby fortunately appears to have slept through the whole thing.

A post shared by Pee Wee Pumps (@peeweepumps) on

I would definitely wear that last kid’s whole outfit.

What do you think of high heels for babies? Let us know in the comments.