Having Trouble Naming Your Baby? There’s An App For That.

My husband and I named our children the old-fashioned way: We fought for 9 months and ended up picking the only names we could agree on. In utero, they had their own German names (Spargel (asparagus) and Zwiebel (onion), if you must know) and we continued the vegetation theme on into their in real life names. We spent hours walking through cemeteries looking for cool names from the past. We scoured our family trees for some cool ancestor. We didn’t, as some of our friends recently did, poll everyone with a fancy questionnaire asking for a thorough ranking of preferences from a short list.

But we could have avoided all sorts of drama by just using this new Kick To Pick app. I guess you put the phone next to your bulging belly and when the baby kicks, it chooses from thousands of names or from a shortlist created by you.

Seems like an honest enough way to part prospective parents from 99 cents.

I was born in 1974 and spent much of my childhood in Colorado. My peers were born to a bunch of hippies, basically. And apparently there was a trend around this time of letting children name themselves one they reached a certain age on the commune. Some of the self-chosen names passed as other names – November, Summer, Daisy. Others, not so much: Trout, Starflower, Heep. You get the idea.

This app is a much better method for picking names than allowing two year olds (who have some of the worst taste on the planet, if we’re going to be honest), to pick their own.

And it works even if you want goofy names like “Captain,” “London,” “Early,” and “Zebulon”!

The other benefit of this app is that it unloads all blame for the name. If your kid complains, you can explain that he or she picked the name on his own. In utero.