Having Sex While Pregnant Is A Lot Like Learning To Drive
Having sex while pregnant is a lot like learning to drive. At least thatâ€™s what it would sound like to an outsider: â€œOkay, a little slower. Thatâ€™s right! Good. Waitâ€¦okayâ€¦a little too the leftâ€¦to the rightâ€¦Slow! Slow!â€ I was thinking about this as I was in the middle of having sex last week, which I probably shouldnâ€™t have been thinking about.
My sex life has not diminished at all since Iâ€™ve become pregnant (only five weeks left!), but itâ€™s definitely gotten more difficult. My fiancÃ©, out of concern, actually said to me recently, â€œWe should have a â€˜safeâ€™ word, just in case youâ€™re in pain or Iâ€™m hurting you.â€ I responded with the suggestion, â€œHow about â€˜Get the F*** off of me!â€™â€ Or, simply, â€œStop!â€
The problem, Iâ€™ve learned, is that my â€˜normalâ€™ grunting and groaning during sex actually sounds a lot like Iâ€™m in pain. Who knew? Too many times to count, my fiancÃ© has asked, â€œAre you okay? Is everything okay?â€ while weâ€™re doing it, and Iâ€™ll be like, â€œUm, yeah! Everything is fine! Continue!â€ And heâ€™ll respond, â€œOh, I thought I was hurting you,â€ and Iâ€™ll be like, â€œNope, those are my usual sex sounds!â€
But recently itâ€™s been very difficult to have sex. It has nothing to do with our combined three other children being around or that Iâ€™m not feeling frisky. It really has just become, well, difficult. This big belly in front of me makes it hard to do anything, really, including walking. I feel a bit badly that my fiancÃ© is, quite literally, doing all the work. Thus far, Iâ€™ve gained 42 pounds and thatâ€™s a lot of weight to move around. All I can basically do during sex time is lie on my back with a pillow propped behind my head. I could sit on top of him, but Iâ€™m a little embarrassed by how I look. (Iâ€™m sorry! I know. I know. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. I have to get over it!) And I worry that Iâ€™m hurting him.
Sometimes, he can roll one of my legs over, so Iâ€™m half on my side, which is a pretty good position, until I realize Iâ€™m having a hard time breathing. Thereâ€™s no way I can lie on my stomach. And donâ€™t let them fool you. No matter how much yoga you practiced before getting pregnant, once you have a huge belly in front of you, it really doesnâ€™t matter how flexible you are. Your legs just donâ€™t go that way any more.