Sign Of The Times: Groupon Offers To Name Your Baby For $1000

I’m suddenly in love with Groupon. Not because I’ve ever purchased a deal off them but because they’re actually really freakin’ funny. The site launched a deal this week that left me howling – for $1000, they’re offering to name your child “Clembough.” I know, I know, it’s ridic on all fronts. It’s also a total riot.

Here are the details:

“Groupon, the official World’s Foremost Authority in Baby Naming™, will name your child or children ‘Clembough.’ No substitutes or modifications. Spelling non-negotiable. Any attempt to name your child ‘Clembough’ independent of this exclusive Groupon will be recognized by the world as a cheap imitation.”

In case you’re wondering what makes Groupon an expert in baby names, they’re quick to point out that “Groupon” is a combination of the words “grout” and “superweapon.” Ha ha ha. Meanwhile, someone out there actually signed up for this deal, which is hilarious in and of itself.

Here’s more:

“All too often, the importance of a child’s name takes a backseat to other ‘needs’ such as food, shelter, and clothing. Groupon, the World’s Foremost Authority in Baby Namingâ„¢, has stepped up to address this issue. Upon your child’s birth, Groupon will relieve you of the burden of naming your baby by bestowing a specially selected, custom first name upon your infant son or daughter. Purchasers will e-mail Groupon with their voucher number, and we will e-mail you back with a name for your child based on the name’s aesthetic value and for how it might look emblazoned on a trophy one day—for a child named by Groupon will grow tall and proud, and he or she will be a beacon of hope in a world that is in such desperate need of one. Don’t settle for non-Groupon-approved names such as Kevin or Bridget—let us gift your sweet child with a moniker for the ages.”

While Groupon insists the deal is real, most normal human beings know it’s a joke (I mean, really). But that’s why I get such a kick out of the prank: It says so much about our obsession with baby names and just how desperate people are to come up with something original – not an easy task in 2012, that’s for sure! Of course, I’m now dying to see if “Clembough” becomes a popular baby name in, say, five years’ time. I kid you not.