8 Greetings Cards Hallmark Needs To Make For Parents

Hallmark sells cards for a lot of occasions: National Boss’s Day, Sweetest Day, Friendship Day – oh crap, is that a thing? Sorry, friends that I’ve been neglecting by not sending a $3.79 greeting card to once a year. But greeting cards manufacturers are missing out on a hefty market share by not offering parents the kinds of cards they really need to buy for each other, not just at the holidays, but all year round. Be honest: you and your spouse have probably needed one of these a lot more than you’ve needed a “Happy April Fool’s Day” card.

1.

Which is worse: having the flu, or being the only one healthy enough to take care of two sick kids and a spouse?

2.

Through a mysterious and poorly-understood property of physics, the weight and inertia of a tandem stroller are actually directly proportional to how far away from home you are at any given moment.

3.

If you manage to remember within a month of the actual date, congratulations! You’re doing fine.

4.

Are “sorry, not sorry” cards a genre? I think they really should be, especially where dirty diapers are involved.

5.

Look, I hope you have a wonderful birthday and that you get everything your heart desires. Unless what your heart desires is not helping me feed the children and get them ready for bed.

6.

The floor was absolutely dazzling for that half hour or so in between your cleaning it and me thinking that steamed broccoli was going to be a big hit with a ten-month-old. Next time I’ll try putting a drop cloth over the entire kitchen. Or maybe just over the baby.

7.

“See, kids? Mommy’s eating her veggies, and she loves them! Even if she won’t stop referring to them as ‘tiny cabbage demons’.”

8.

ANY DAY NOW, HONEY. I SWEAR.

(Cards made using Canva)