being a mom

Martyr Grandma Convinces The Internet That Her Daughter Is A Monster For Refusing Her Ugly Dollhouse

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dollhouseA grandmother wrote into Dear Abby today and made me and probably the rest of the internet want to cry. She spent weeks building a custom dollhouse for her 7-year-old granddaughter for Christmas. When it came time to pack it up and take it home, her daughter called the house “amateurish” and said she didn’t want it in her home. Sad face. Is her daughter really this big of a monster, or all we all being snowed?

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, “Kelly,” wanted a dollhouse for Christmas. I had a friend build a basic frame, shingled roof, chimney and shutters, then I decorated it.
I did everything by hand. I wallpapered each room, made little rugs and crocheted lace curtains. There were even little window shades. Kelly’s room was a perfect princess bedroom. It took weeks, but I loved working on it.

Isn’t this the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard? Here’s what happened next:

The family came for five days over the holidays. Kelly loved her dollhouse and played with it every day. When it came time to leave, my daughter told Kelly she couldn’t take it with her. She had to leave it at Grandma’s “so she would have something to play with when she came to visit.” Kelly was heartbroken. So was I.

I’m almost getting angry now. What kind of monster wouldn’t let her daughter take her custom built dollhouse home?

Then my daughter told me (in private) the dollhouse was “too amateurish,” which was why she didn’t want it in her home. I think about it all the time and don’t know how to get past it. Any advice? — HURT GRANDMA

How did such a seemingly kind, considerate woman raise such a witch? That was my first reaction to this whole tale – then it hit me. Mothers and daughters live on different planets sometimes, they really do. And I started to try to see the daughter’s side of things.

Maybe grandma is a crafty nightmare who is always making ugly things she expects her daughter to display in her house. Did grandma ask mom if there were room for a large dollhouse in her home and if it were an appropriate gift? By her reaction, I’m going to go assume “no.” Is she constantly pulling this shit with her daughter – making decisions without consulting her and then painting herself as the victim? Do you see where I’m going with this?

If I know anything, it’s that grandmas can wear the martyr cloak expertly. It was rude of her daughter to call it “amateurish,” but this is just sounding to me like the passive-aggressive communication between a woman who is sick of her mom stepping on her toes in regards to parenting, and a grandmother who refuses to stay in her lane.

But I could be totally wrong. And if I am – sorry grandma.

(photo: Milan Tesar/ Shutterstock)