Do you have a picky eater at your house? Are you stifling another profane tirade every time your little angel turns up his nose at broccoli, or demands her usual meal of exactly three bites of Kraft Easy Mac and peanut butter toast (sans crust)? Then before you undergo a mid-kitchen meltdown, you need to get your hands on a copy of the sequel to Go The Fuck To Sleep, the fabulously-named You Have To Fucking Eat. And so do I. Everyone needs to get their hands on a copy. (Except your kids. Your kids probably should not have a copy of this book.)
Three years ago, the original “children’s book for adults“, Go the Fuck to Sleep, became a viral bestseller: partly thanks to an accidental early release of the book via email, and partly because every parent on earth posted to tell their friends about it on Facebook. The book discusses the obnoxious shenanigans author Adam Mansbach‘s daughter engages in while trying to avoid having to go to bed, and it obviously struck a nerve with parents who are struggling to suppress their seething rage over their own personal bedtime circuses.
The sequel, also by Mansbach, takes on the subject of the little girl’s disdain for every damn food he tries to put in front of her, but the original illustrator, Ricardo Cortes, wasn’t available. This time the artwork was done by Scholastic and National Geographic illustrator Owen Brozman. And his work would hardly look out of place in any ”Good Night, World” book a perfect backdrop to set the stage for Mansbach’s not-quite-appropriate-for-storytime words.
There’s no word yet on whether this sequel will be getting the Samuel L. Jackson audiobook treatment like the original did, but my fingers are crossed. Profanity-laced diatribes about childish misbehavior are 300% better when they’re being read in the voice of Jules from Pulp Fiction. Also unclear: whether the sequel’s handling of picky eating will figure into the Go The Fuck To Sleep feature film that I seriously did not make up and that is a real thing underway at Fox 2000 right now. I’m not sure how a 30-page rhyming book is going to get turned into a 90-minute movie, but if Jackson is involved in any way, I’m on board.
You Have to Fucking Eat is available starting November 12, but it can be pre-ordered now if you’re desperate: consider it your early Christmas present to yourself and your strained sanity. Keep in mind, this book isn’t going to make your kid like Brussels sprouts, and it won’t save you from screams for chicken nuggets (nor from cleaning those same chicken nuggets off the floor seven seconds after they arrive on your child’s plate). But it will make you laugh, and feel a little better about your own picky eater situation. And feeling a little better just might be enough to keep you from finding yourself standing over the heap of rejected culinary offerings on your kitchen floor and screaming at your bewildered children, “You have to fucking eat!”