With A House-full Of Women, No Wonder My FiancÃ© Is Totally Emasculated
Weâ€™re a really open family, so it was no surprise when my stepdaughter came home and said grumpily, â€œI got my period.â€ I responded back grumpily, â€œSo did I! Weâ€™re on the same cycle!â€ and then we high-fived each other and popped some Advilâ€™s together. Thereâ€™s nothing like bonding with your stepdaughter having the same menstrual cycle. Soon enough, there will be five of us on the same cycle.
My fiancÃ©, who was in the room, just rolled his eyes and said, â€œGreat,â€ and was probably thinking of moving into a hotel for the next few days. Which I would totally understand. Except that would get pretty expensive each month.
Every female in our house is extremelyâ€¦sensitive and female, to make a sweeping generalization. We have no fewer than 50 hairbrushes, thousands of hair elastics, bras everywhere and we talk about boys a lot.
Dinner conversations include boys, puberty, boob sizes, hairstyles and tampons. When we canâ€™t find a hair elastic or brush â€“ which is amazing since all of us females have long hair – itâ€™s like a national emergency. If our hair straightner breaks, there are tears.
In fact, there is always some female crying in our house, usually over something about boys or frienemies or jealousy, especially when we have our periods and just canâ€™t help it. And itâ€™s just going to get worse…at least for my fiancÃ©. My youngest stepdaughter is going through puberty. And then my daughter will too. (Although we all wear bras.)
In fact, my nanny, too, is also on the same cycle as my bonus daughter and me. I love living with so many girls. Itâ€™s like overnight camp all over again. For example, my stepdaughters boobs are bigger than mine, so she passes me her old bikini tops. My other stepdaughter asked me the other day if you still get your period when you are in water, in front of her father, who of course, had no idea. My girls borrow my shoes and clothes and ask my opinion about their outfits. One of my stepdaughter does my nails. The other does my hair.
So my poor fiancÃ© is stuck with all of us extremely talkative girls, listening to boy troubles, watching and waiting for us to do our hair before we go out, how we need more tampons immediately, and never-ending talk of how hot Channing Tatum is.