16 GIFs That Perfectly Highlight the First Day Home With Your New Baby

So, you had a baby! It was either amazing or awful, likely a combination of both. You had a couple of nice days in the hospital, with nurses waiting on you hand and foot. You think, well this isn’t so bad! I can totally do this! And then they come in with discharge paperwork and tell you it’s time to GTFO. And you have to take the baby with you. No nurses to change your icicle pad. Say goodbye to food delivery. It’s just you, the baby, and (hopefully) a great support system at home. The first day home with your new baby will be magical and insane and horrible and perfect. Luckily, there are 16 gifs that totally nail what you’re about to experience.

Image: Giphy

Your first thought when you’ve arrived for your first day home with your new baby: WE MADE IT!

Image: Giphy

Strapping your tiny, precious, fragile newborn into their car seat for the ride home is the most stressful part of the day. And obviously you drove 3 miles an hour the entire way, and sat in the bitch seat despite your screaming vagina so you could be within reach.

Congrats, you’re home! Now what?

Now what? (Finding Nemo)

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Do you … feed it? Wake it up? First things first: unpack all the goods you stole from the hospital, and feed yourself. Trust us, you’re going to want to be nourished.

Oh, crap. The baby woke up. It seems … angry.

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Holy shit, newborns are LOUD. Ok, what are the steps again? Feed it, change it, feed it again, change it again, wrap it up, rock it for 3 hours.

Omg, the steps worked! The baby is sleeping again. Quick, take a shower!

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You desperately want to wash the hospital off your body, so a scalding hot shower is the way to go. Just a heads up, this will be the best and shortest shower of your life.

Next up, food!

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If it’s not nailed down, put it in your mouth. There’s something about those first weeks after having a baby that makes you ravenous. And unless you gave birth in Japan, hospital food leaves a lot to be desired.

Baby is still sleeping! Maybe you should sleep? LOL, of course not, now you unpack.

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Chances are, you came home from the hospital with A LOT more shit than you went in with. Sitz bottles, formula, diapers, wipes, the glorious mesh panties. They need a home, and even though you should be sleeping when the baby is sleeping, you’ll totally try to find a place for them right now.

Oh, look! You have visitors!

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Listen. Your first mistake was telling people when the baby was born. Your second mistake was telling people when you’d be home. Unless the visitors come bearing food and arms and hands ready to hold the baby, don’t answer the door.

Baby is awake again! But it seems oddly calm. Just hold it.

Holding Baby GIF - Holding Baby GIFs

Image: Tenor

You are going to be holding the baby A LOT. Like, all the time. May as well find a comfy position.

Hey now. The baby pooped! Why is there so much goddamn poop?!

Poop Animated GIF - Poop Animated GIFs

Image: Tenor

The first poops at the hospital are cake compared to what the kid will unleash at home. Be prepared.

What the fuck, it’s sleeping again. Is this normal?

Smiling Baby GIF - Smiling Baby Sweet GIFs

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Your newborn will sleep ALL OF THE TIME. Except when you want it to. That’s the rub!

On your first day home with a new baby, this is right about the time you remember that you have other kids.

Love Me GIF - Loveme GIFs

Image: Tenor

Ohhhhhhh, hey! You! I sort of forgot you existed! Come here, give me a brief hug. And bring snacks.

Oh, those boobs? Yeah. They don’t really belong to you anymore.

Fat Manboobs GIF - Fat Manboobs Breast GIFs

Image: Tenor

If you’ve decided to breastfeed, just don’t even bother with shirts for the first 2 weeks, starting on the first day home with your new baby. You won’t need them.

Oh, hey! Baby is sleeping again. Maybe you should sleep! Nah, you’ll just take a million pictures of the baby.

Feliz Noche GIF - Feliz Noche Sleeping GIFs

Image: Tenor

Eventually you’ll learn, when the baby sleeps, and you have no other obligations, GET YOUR ASS TO SLEEP. But first day home with your new first baby? Yeah, so many pictures. 

At this point you’re probably thinking, hey! This isn’t so bad!

This Is Fine Fire GIF - ThisIsFine Fire House GIFs

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Newborns are surprisingly adaptable. So the fact that they sleep the entire first day is not at all surprising, but should not be mistaken for complacency.

Your guests are finally leaving! Yay! Or … yay?

Byebye Pocahontas GIF - Byebye Pocahontas Princess GIFs

Image: Tenor

We know that having a bunch of people around the first day home with your new baby can be overwhelming. We also know it can be a GODSEND. 

Final thought on your first day home with your new baby: holy shit, this is for real.

Shocked GIF - OMG OhMyGod OhMyGah GIFs

Image: Tenor

The visitors are gone. Your partner is asleep or putting the other kids to sleep. It’s just you and this brand new human for the night. What the actual hell.

Obviously, the baby has to come home. But LORDT, can it be easier? The first day lulls you in with it’s ease. Then baby is like, LOL NO MOM. How did you feel the first day home with your new baby? Let us know in the comments!

(Image: Giphy)

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