mother and daughter

10 Things That Prove Little Girls Are Just As Gross As Little Boys

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6. You are going to be able to burp the alphabet before you can say it.

I think my son actually edges out his sister on this one, but really, both of these kids can burp with the power of a thousand fiery, baby-food-scented suns. If I put them in front of a miniature wind turbine I think I could probably generate enough electricity to power our house.

7. Where did you learn to fart like that?

Haha, just kidding! I’ve never asked my kids this, because I know exactly where they learned this: from me.

8. The dog’s bone is not a teething toy.

These children want for nothing, and yet my son is currently crawling toward the dog’s Kong toy, and I’m 98% sure my daughter is stealthily eying up a nearby Nylabone. I know germ exposure is important, but if they could at least refrain from putting things in their mouth that have previously been in the mouth of a creature that licks its own butt, I would sleep a little better at night.

9. Stop touching poop.

Okay, this one is only a second-hand story from a mom I know with two little girls. One day her toddler asked her if she ever looked at her own poop in the toilet. Well, sure, that can be a good way to see if you’re eating healthily, I guess. “Okay, good. And Mom, do you ever … touch your poop?” Hearing this question out of your sweet little girl’s mouth is a good indication that you may want to Lysol everything in the house that can be reached by a three-year-old.

10. STOP EATING POOP.

Back on the home front, I will never be over the day I walked around the corner into the living room to find my daughter enjoying the dog’s concept of a Hot Brown sandwich. In retrospect, letting them chew on a dog bone is starting to look kind of reasonable. And you know what? I started this list with the thesis that both boys and girls are kind of gross, but on this end of things, I’m starting to think that my daughter has edged her brother out. Well done, sweetie. Let’s go celebrate with a handful of grass as a palate cleanser.

(Photo: Todd Castor/Shutterstock)

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