during pregnancy

You Parents Trying For A Certain Gender Need To Rethink Your Priorities

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shutterstock_176872415I’ll admit it—I always wanted a daughter. Now I have two sons, and I couldn’t be happier.

I think that I always wanted a daughter because I am one myself, obviously. I just assumed that having a daughter would come naturally to me, just like being a daughter. I also had romantic notions about the special mother-daughter bond that so many people speak of: pedicures, gossiping about boys, and romantic comedy movies.

Well, now it looks like I’m going to have to do all of those things by myself, and I don’t mind one bit. Or, there is the possibility that one or both of my sons will be into getting regular pedicures with me, and I welcome the possibility.

I thought that I would have a girl and I wanted one, but it never even crossed my mind to “try for” a specific gender. There are several ways that parents go about it who have their hearts set on one sex or the other.

First, there are numerous suggested methods for pre-conception gender selection. There is absolutely no research to prove that these methods work, but there are countless theories and anecdotes to support them. My midwife, a mother of nine, even recommended a book about natural methods to use to conceive the gender of your choice. For some reason, that just didn’t sit well with me. Also, there’s no guarantee it would even work.

Second, we have the families that keep trying and trying and trying. I can’t tell you how many families I know that have three boys or three girls. (I acknowledge that not all families of three same gender kids were trying for a specific gender.) The whole setup is kind of comical to me. Again, I don’t have any science to back this, but it seems like many families get stuck in the rut of procreating one gender or the other. If you’re trying for a girl after three or four boys, or vice versa, you might as well quit while you’re ahead.

Two sons were not what I expected, but I can’t explain how happy I am to have each individual (male) child. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing. Parents trying for a certain gender, especially those having child after child in the hopes of a boy or girl, perplex me. It’s not only impractical but disrespectful to the kids you already have.

(Image: Maksim Shmeljov/Shutterstock)