75 Things On The Gay Agenda
Apparently, there is a gay agenda. I always thought it was equality, but according to many very dumb people – it’s not. It’s making everyone else gay, especially our children. Then we can all be gay together and do the gayest of gay things all the live-long day.
A discussion that started on a comment thread about the movie Frozen making all of our kids gay inspired us in the Mommyish offices to think of all the gay things that give us all the gay. As you can tell, it’s just a random list of every item we can think of. You may recognize some of your suggestions.Believing that certain things can “make” someone gay is the most ridiculous theory ever, followed by Intelligent Design. So basically this is just a random nonsense list. But listing these random things in random order for no apparent reason still makes more sense than claiming that anything on this planet turns someone into a homosexual.
1. My Little Pony
2. Painting lessons
3. Poetry
4. Pants
5. Ping-pong
6. Short Haircuts
7. Leadership roles
8. Self defense classes
9. Gay people
10. Pink anything
11. AC/DC
12. Showtunes
13. Nutella
14. Air
15. Breathing too much
16. Rizzo of Grease fame
17. San Francisco
18. Tight pants
19. Kilts
20. Shopping
21. Tulips
22. Delicious cheese
23. Reading
24. Crying
25. Quiche
26. Evolution
27. Soy
28. Rainbows
29. Jem
30. The Peanuts Gang
31. Dancing
32. Doc McStuffins
33. Juicy Fruit
34. The Shake Weight
35. iPod minis
36. Truth
37. Barbie’s cousin Skipper
38. Certain Pokemons, but just the gay ones
39. Having a mom who watches Ellen
40. An early interest in decopauge
41. Bert and Ernie
42. Not being potty trained by age three
43. Gay marriage
44. Schools that play ‘We Are The Champions’ during assemblies
45. Little boys playing with dolls
46. The Boy Scouts
47. Glee
48. Kissing your kids too much
49: Spanking
50: Not spanking
51: Your son having long hair
52: Co-sleeping
54: Sheryl Sandberg
55: Swimming
56: Having a gay relative
57: Seeing gay people kiss
58: Baseball
59: Rainbows
60: Reruns of Hollywood Squares
61. Having Intellivision instead of Atari as your first gaming system
61. Owning an easy bake oven
62. Netflix
63. Separating the wafers while eating a Kit-Kat
64. Manscaping
65. Sun-in
66. The Secret
67. Mallowmars
68. She-Ra
69. Veggie lasagna
70. Garfield
71. Saying “totes” instead of totally
72. Mr. Universe
73. Feeding your cat people-food
74. Framing posters
75. Unicorns
