75 Things On The Gay Agenda

Apparently, there is a gay agenda. I always thought it was equality, but according to many very dumb people – it’s not. It’s making everyone else gay, especially our children. Then we can all be gay together and do the gayest of gay things all the live-long day.

A discussion that started on a comment thread about the movie Frozen making all of our kids gay inspired us in the Mommyish offices to think of all the gay things that give us all the gay. As you can tell, it’s just a random list of every item we can think of. You may recognize some of your suggestions.Believing that certain things can “make” someone gay is the most ridiculous theory ever, followed by Intelligent Design. So basically this is just a random nonsense list. But listing these random things in random order for no apparent reason still makes more sense than claiming that anything on this planet turns someone into a homosexual.

1. My Little Pony

2. Painting lessons

3. Poetry

4. Pants

5. Ping-pong

6. Short Haircuts

7. Leadership roles

8. Self defense classes

9. Gay people

10. Pink anything

11. AC/DC

12. Showtunes

13. Nutella

14. Air

15. Breathing too much

16. Rizzo of Grease fame

17. San Francisco

18. Tight pants

19. Kilts

20. Shopping

21. Tulips

22. Delicious cheese

23. Reading

24. Crying

25. Quiche

26. Evolution

27. Soy

28. Rainbows

29. Jem

30. The Peanuts Gang

31. Dancing

32. Doc McStuffins

33. Juicy Fruit

34. The Shake Weight

35. iPod minis

36. Truth

37. Barbie’s cousin Skipper

38. Certain Pokemons, but just the gay ones

39. Having a mom who watches Ellen

40.  An early interest in decopauge

41.  Bert and Ernie

42. Not being potty trained by age three

43. Gay marriage

44. Schools that play ‘We Are The Champions’ during assemblies

45.  Little boys playing with dolls

46. The Boy Scouts

47. Glee

48. Kissing your kids too much

49: Spanking

50: Not spanking

51: Your son having long hair

52: Co-sleeping

53: The Sexy Skittles Walrus

54: Sheryl Sandberg

55: Swimming

56: Having a gay relative

57: Seeing gay people kiss

58: Baseball

59: Rainbows

60: Reruns of Hollywood Squares

61. Having Intellivision instead of Atari as your first gaming system

61. Owning an easy bake oven

62. Netflix

63. Separating the wafers while eating a Kit-Kat

64. Manscaping

65. Sun-in

66. The Secret

67. Mallowmars

68. She-Ra

69. Veggie lasagna

70. Garfield

71. Saying “totes” instead of totally

72. Mr. Universe

73. Feeding your cat people-food

74. Framing posters

75. Unicorns


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