Work Life Balance

Gabriella Reese’s Marriage Was Saved Because She Became A Nice Little Submissive Wife

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shutterstock_91496678__1365857687_70.118.110.28I love it when powerful women who have managed to balance career, children and a satisfying marriage admit that the reason it all works is because they stay in their lane. You know, do the cooking and cleaning and be the submissive little wife all men want. It’s so empowering. Who needs to dismantle gender stereotypes when you have a life of cooking, cleaning and being a yes-woman to fall back on? Not Gabriella Reese. She thinks being being feminine equals being submissive. How enlightening.

Yes, I’m being a snarky witch. I admit it. I just really hate it when women do this kind of “femininity PR.” Whose side are you on, anyway? In her new book, “My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper,” Reese writes, “to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and – look out, here it comes – submissive.”

In an interview with Today, Reese elaborates by saying:

“I think the idea of living with a partner is ‘How can I make their life better?’ So if I’m the woman and he’s the man, then yes, that’s the dynamic. I’m willing and I choose to serve my family and my husband because it creates a dynamic where he is then in fact acting more like a man and masculine and treating me the way I want to be treated.”

Reese also says:

“I’ve chosen to be a wife, I’ve chosen to be a mother. I’ve chosen to continue working. I’ve chosen to try to keep my house in a certain order. “

So he’s hunting, pounding his chest and dragging you by the hair by to your cave – got it. Actually, no, I don’t get it. How is a man more of a man because he has a woman around to cook and clean? This is a stereotype I do not understand. Clearly you are both professionals and bread winners. Why is “serving” your family an intrinsically feminine trait?

Reese and her husband Laird Hamilton have obviously found an arrangement that works for them. I am not begrudging them that. Of course I clean my house and do laundry. So does my husband. I just hate it when our roles as wives and mothers are reduced to chores and “submission.” Maybe this is just an inflammatory sound bite that her PR team knew would get people talking. If so – genius. I just think professional women have enough of an uphill battle on their hands without famous women writing books touting the benefits of this “intrinsically feminine” fairytale. There is nothing intrinsically feminine about being submissive and keeping an organized house. That is all learned behavior.

“I think first of all you realize what can you do different and do better in the relationship. That’s what I had to look at because you’re not born with the skill set to live and cohabitate and be in a relationship with somebody, so really sometimes it’s only trial by error and by fire.”

Exactly. I’m glad this is working for them. But in a lot of cases, these “traditional gender roles” put more pressure and anxiety on men and women alike. Can we evolve?

(photo: s_bukley/