Free-Rage Parenting Is The Hot New Parenting Style You Need To Try
I like to consider myself a calm parent. I do my best not to yell at my kids and instead speak to them in a quiet, rational voice when they do something that displeases me. I have been practicing this gentle parenting method for many, many years and I have come to this scientific conclusion:
This shit don’t work.
This has led me to develop my brand new hot parenting style, Free-Rage Parentingâ„¢.
The fundamentals of Free-Rage Parentingâ„¢ are pretty easy to follow, and I have outlined some examples below. There are many cases where you will find Free-Rage Parentingâ„¢ is an appropriate method to use when childrearing, and when dealing with the world at large when you have children.
You Go Into The Bathroom In The Middle Of The Night And After You Pee You Realize Your Kids Have Used All The Toilet Paper On The Roll And From The Toilet Paper Holder And Not Replaced It Even Though You Know For A Fact You Have Two Economy Packs Of Toilet Paper Just Sitting In Your GarageÂ
Your Mother-In-Law Is Visiting And Even Though You Made Your Kid A Healthy Lunch If You Leave The Room For Two Seconds You Return To Find Your Kid Eating A Popsicle And Your MIL Says ‘They Didn’t Like What You Made Them.’Â
No Matter How Many Times You Tell The Kids To Take The Dog Out, They Ignore You Until He Takes A Dump On Your Living Room RugÂ
You Are Obviously The Only Human Who Can Tell When The Dishes Are Clean Because Instead Of Putting The Clean Dishes Away Your Kid Puts Their Dirty Cereal Bowl On Top Of The Clean Dishes So Milk Drips All Over ThemÂ
You Are Struggling To Open A Door With A Newborn In A Stroller And A Toddler In Tow And Some Guy, Instead Of Opening The Door, Tells You To ‘Smile’Â