Childrearing

I Had High Hopes For My New Mom Friend – ‘Til My Daughter Ruined It All

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mom friends laughingI thought we’d make perfect foursome. We’d go to movies together, eat out together, they’d come over to my place for leisurely afternoons and we’d go over to their place for evenings of mindless fun. In fact, I even went ahead and planned the perfect date night, which I’ll tell you about in a minute. As a part of an adult couple, we know how hard it is to find that other adult couple who we always look forward to seeing and having drinks or dinner with. The men like the men and the gals like the gals. But I’m not talking about that kind of foursome. I’m talking about a foursome with my daughter, another girl her age, me and this other girl’s mother.

When my daughter was younger, there were some playdates I used to dread. Too young to leave my daughter alone at someone else’s house, I would be stuck making small talk over coffee cake with the playdate’s mother, thinking, “Why does two hours seem like two days?” And, “Have I really only been here for 12 minutes?”

But then, as my daughter got older, this wonderful world of “the drop-off” began. No longer did I have to sit and make small talk with mothers I had absolutely nothing in common with, aside from having kids, and no longer did they have to make small talk with me. It pretty much was like dining and dashing, except I dropped my kid off and would dash so quickly out of these mother’s houses, I think the mothers often wondered if I had even been there at all. “Well, her daughter is here, so she MUST have come by,” I could imagine them saying.

And then a wonderful thing happened recently. I met a mother at one of my daughter’s art classes. I LOVED this mother. She was hip and funny and I could spend hours talking to her, gossiping and laughing my ass off. I can honestly say, that in my daughter’s eight years on this planet, aside from my good friends who happen to be mothers, this was the first new mother I could see forming a long-lasting friendship with. I’m talking the kind of friendship where you talk on the phone almost every night.

Finding a new mother friend, with a child your daughter’s age, one that shares your views on life and you can totally open up too, is really quite difficult. And when you find a mother you actually really like, it’s like a miracle. Thank you, Jesus! So we set up a playdate for our daughters. It went well, or so I thought. A few weeks later, I felt comfortable asking my new mother friend if she could watch my daughter while I had to go to a doctor’s appointment. She was more than happy to do so. In exchange for her generosity, I organized a really great date night for our girls. I took them for dinner and to the ballet. If I were dating, and a guy set up this evening for me, I’d be in heaven.

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