being a mom
Finding A Husband Was Easier Than Finding A Mom Friend
Making mom friends is hard. I know the girls on Sex and The City whined for years and years about how difficult it is to find a decent man, but meeting and marrying my husband was ten times easier than finding a mom friend.
After college, all of my girlfriends scattered across the state. Now that some of us have kids, getting together takes lots of planning and is often thwarted by a sick kid or diaper disaster. While I have made a few amazing online mom friends that I consider myself to be very close to, sometimes you just need to talk to someone in the flesh that isn’t the UPS guy.
At first, I stumbled into story time at the local library, assuming that just like me, the other moms would be looking for buddies.Â Nope.Â Most moms there already had a friend to sit next to in the circle, leaving me the odd man out. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’m kind of a catch as far as mom friends go. As long as you don’t abuse your kid I’ll never judge your parenting choices. I can keep a secret better than a CIA agent and I will always bring baked goods to a play date.Â I wasn’t sure why I was having trouble striking up conversations with other moms. Was it myÂ Basic MomÂ attire? My bitchy resting face?
I decided to put in a little more effort, planning outfits that looked somewhat put together but were still comfortable. I threw my hair into a braid instead of its usual messy bun. I tried to smile at people and compliment their kids. I hung out in the playroom after story time instead of heading home immediately. I even enrolled my boys in a gymnastics class, hoping the old dating adage of “putting myself out there” would also apply when seeking a mom friend.
My increased efforts have led to a couple brushes with fate, but so far, nothing has panned out. There was the chill mom with cute glasses that came to story time and rolled her eyes at me when Miss Michelle wasÂ reallyÂ getting into her rendition ofÂ I’m a Little Teapot.Â We chitchatted a bit between songs, but as our respective kids started to melt down once story time was over, we parted ways without exchanging names or contact info. She mentioned a much cooler story time at a different library, but the time doesn’t work for me, so I may never see her again.
There was the mom I met in the grocery store who stopped me to ask about my kids and shared her excitement at being out of the house without her two little ones. I think we recognized the slightly overwhelmed look in each other’s eyes that all moms with young kids seem to have in common. Even though we spoke several times throughout the aisles and checked out in the same lane, both of us were too shy to make the first move.