Dear ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Fans: Please Do Not Name Your Baby After Christian Grey

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christian greyOkay, so we all know by now that Fifty Shades of Grey is causing moms everywhere to let loose and have the best sex of their lives. Just kidding. It is making some moms super frisky but others, well, they’d rather watch Supernanny and call it a night. To each her own. Though I’ve been reading non-stop lately about various experts who swears we’ll be seeing a baby boom inspired solely by Fifty Shades. As in, couples are shagging like mad – apparently sans protection – all thanks to Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, the book’s lead characters. (On, you can hear first-hand accounts of women who got pregs thanks to the best-selling trilogy.)

That’s all fine and good, I guess, but now I’ve been hearing we can expect to see more babies named ‘Christian’ and ‘Anastasia’ down the line (kind of how Twilight inspired countless ‘Jacobs’ and ‘Isabellas’). Parents have been referencing pop culture for ages now when it comes to baby names, but there’s something that irks me about naming your baby Christian after a totally fucked-up character who is pretty much an abusive boyfriend-turned-husband.

I know, I know, I’m being so literal and uptight. But, really, Christian Grey is a train wreck! Sure, you start to feel bad for the guy, but I mostly feel bad for Anastasia, who has to put up with constant mind games from her control-freak boyfriend. (And P.S., you cannot change a person despite the book’s underlying message.)

Christian has always been a popular name and it’s not going anywhere any time soon; but if I come across any babies named Christian in the next year or so, forgive me for throwing up in my mouth just a tiny bit.