Baby Names

Feast Your Eyes On The Worst Baby Name Of All Time, Plus 10 Bonus Baby Names You DO NOT WANT

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shutterstock_27655645I’m done having kids, but I still have a soft spot for baby names. I’ve learned the hard way that you unfortunately can’t quiz new parents about what they’re going to name their kid. If they want you to know, they’ll tell you. If they don’t want you to know or haven’t decided, you’ll find out on Facebook when the baby is born with the rest of the world.

The only reason I get so fanatical about baby names is because naming a baby is so much fun. Whenever I hear what a friend has named their kid, I feel like I have been given a little more insight into their personality, what makes them tick. A friend that chooses a very traditional name in spite of her wacky style and unpredictable personality might surprise me. A friend that chooses an uber-trendy name that perfectly matches her hipster clothes and Urban Outfitters lifestyle might…not surprise me.

Finding out a baby’s name is all part of the fun. It’s the cherry on top of the Big Reveal when a baby is born. The only way a parent can spoil this precious moment is by choosing a name that is absolutely, 100% horrible.

Which brings me to the reason why you are all here. I was tooling around on the Internet looking at baby name lists for absolutely no reason at all, when I found this little gem:


Gender breakdown: 100% Female / 0% Male

National Rank: 36214 of 68285


NORTH DAKOTA: Ranked 189 of 743 Names

In my humble opinion, this is possibly the worst baby name you could ever consider for your little bundle of joy. But what’s even worse is that the name has national ranking. I’m looking at you, North Dakota…

Why oh why are there baby girls walking around with the name Felony in North Dakota or elsewhere? I can’t see introducing beautiful little baby Felony to friends with a straight face. From the get-go, her parents are setting her up to fail.

Parent, don’t name your beautiful baby Felony, along with these 10 baby name travesties:

1. Ahmiracle

2. Allergy

3. Chlamydia

4. Dorcus

5. Failure

6. Freak

7. Hitler

8. Luhv

9. Sin 

10. Thinn

(Image: R. Gino Santa Maria/Shutterstock)