I had a moment yesterday when it fully hit me that I am old. I don’t get scandalized that easy. I don’t wring my hands over the youth of today and their wacky fads and styles. But when I read the tale of the journey to the wedding altar of Faith Rein and Udonis Haslem in the New York Times “Weddings/Celebrations” section entitled “Taking Their Very Sweet Time” yesterday I felt like my grandmother must have when she encountered many new advances towards the twilight of her years, old and very un-with-it. Because in this wedding story of sports careers and coconut cake and trips to Italy and Vera Wang mermaid style dresses and guests in attendance like Flo Rida there is a little aside about abortion. From The NYT:
By May 2001, however, she and Mr. Haslem had become a couple, spending most of their free time together.
Their first challenge took place the following spring when she became pregnant. It was her junior and his senior year, and he had begun training for the N.B.A. draft. Despite the pregnancy, she was busy with track meets and helping him complete homework. The timing was bad.
”I am not a huge fan of abortion, but we both had sports careers, plus we could not financially handle a baby,” said Mr. Haslem, noting how he struggled with supporting Kedonis, the son he had in high school, who is now 14 and who lives with his mother.”Udonis appreciated that I was willing to have an abortion,” Ms. Rein said. ”I found him caring, supportive, nurturing and all over me to be sure I was O.K. I saw another side of him during that difficult time and fell deeply in love. He had a big heart and was the whole package.”
First of all, Udonis appreciated that I was willing to have an abortion. Well, yeah, I am sure he was appreciative considering he all ready had another child he was having issues caring for. It just reads like had she decided not to have an abortion he would have been less “appreciative” of her. I am pro-choice, totally. I feel abortions should be safe and legal and available to anyone who wants one. That’s all great. I feel like there is a huge stigma that goes along with having an abortion and I don’t think women should be made to feel like criminals in their difficult decision to have one. Sure, it’s progressive that a couple is discussing their abortion decision like it’s not some life-ending tragedy, that it was the best decision for them to make at the time. It’s very progressive that they are doing it very publicly in the NY Times where everyone including their dentists and their neighbors and future grandchildren can one day read about it. It’s very progressive that other people will read this and maybe think about their own views regarding abortion and women’s reproductive health. But in a wedding story? It’s their wedding story and they can discuss whatever they want, but it just seems a bit uncouth to me. Couldn’t they have done an entirely separate article where they talked all about it? I’m old fashioned, and I don’t believe that in a public wedding story that their abortion merits its very own paragraphs.
Can’t we just hear more about these fried buttermilk-crusted chicken nuggets with waffles and the flowers?