Extreme Makeover Home Turned Into Halfway House And The Snobby Neighbors Are Predictably Enraged

angry white guy pointing fingerIf you’ve ever watched ABC‘s “Extreme Makeover Home Edition and wondered how the families managed the upkeep for those lavish homes after the camera crews leave, then this story is for you. Four years after receiving a monster-sized manor from ABC, one Texas family was forced to sell it due to financial constraints. Now the home has been turned into a halfway house for recovering drug addicts, and neighbors are losing their shit over it.

Larry and Melissa Beach, who fostered or adopted an astounding 85 children over the years, were featured on the show in 2010 after their original home was destroyed during Hurricane Ike. The couple and their dozen+ children were gifted with a mansion fit for a king but unfortunately, as with many Extreme Makeover HE families, the cost of maintaining a mega-home’s taxes, utilities, and other various expenses became too much. The home sat on the market for months and the Beaches were forced to sell for well below what the house was worth, but they eventually offloaded their burden to former Houston Oiler and philanthropist Butch Woolfolk, who then opened the halfway house .

Of course, since this humongous-homestead-turned-den-of-iniquity is located in one of the wealthiest parts of Kemah, snooty neighbors are horrified at the thought of having drug addicts in such close proximity to their precious rich folk shit. Apparently the mere presence of recovering drug addicts immediately brings down property values and increases crime rates. Because, as we all know, drug addicts are filthy criminals who, at all times, are only moments away from their next gang-bang and/or crack-fueled-riot, amirite?

But never fear, NIMBY-crusaders! Woolfolk was quick to reassure the neighboring homeowners that this facility will only house “high net-worth individuals.” Now, obviously the Richie Riches of the world deserve to get clean too, if they so choose, but I think it fucking sucked that Woolfork had to console these elitist fucks this way. Don’t worry your silly little bonnets off, you rich fuckhats, big bad Wooly won’t be forcing you to interact with anyone outside of your little self-made suburban caste system. Only worthy junkies for your hood!

Listen, I can understand folks being leery of a halfway house for drug addicts opening in the middle of a residential area, especially if you’re not familiar with how they work. But there are way worse things that can happen to a neighborhood than having a bunch of Lindsay Lohan, Rush Limbaugh types move in. Your block doesn’t immediately become the new spot to score smack and meth for all the area youths either.

You can scream “not in my back yard!” until you’re red in the face (or red, white and blue, seeing as this is Texas), but these facilities have to go somewhere, and rural or residential areas are your best bet when trying to break someone of all the bad habits they learned on the street.

(Photo:  Tom Gowanlock/Shutterstock)

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