Embarrassing Mom Week: My Moment Actually Came Before Birth

So my then-husband gets transferred to Switzerland.  The house that we had choose to live in prior to the planned transfer was sold from underneath us before we arrived! So there I was on a plane, seven months pregnant, flying BACK to Switzerland to choose a brand new house.  Our belongings were already on the boat, so no chance of choosing new items for this new house.  Needless to say, I was very flustered and very pregnant.

Somehow or other, I ended up on the very very inside seat by the window on a huge airplane.  Pregnant mommy-to-be’s should never ever sit in this seat, especially on a trans-Atlantic flight, especially so far away from the bathroom.  About four hours into the flight, with all my businessmen seat companions sleeping soundly (none of whom I knew by the way),  I had to make a trip to the little girl’s room.  So big belly and all, I wedged myself by them (none had the courtesy to move), waking up all of them as I proceeded past them.

Now what I haven’t told you is that this was an eight-hour flight and I had already been to bathroom two times.  I had already woken up my seat companions two times.  Now they were no longer being nice–they were pissed.  But I smiled and muttered, “Excuse me, Excuse me” as I waddled past.  Finally to the bathroom but not in yet, there was a line!  When I finally got into the little teeny cramped room and slide the door shut, I was a wreck and really really had to go.  I forced my huge elastic pants down over my immense belly and started to let things flow so to speak.

There was only one problem.  The toilet LID was not UP like the last two times I went, it was down.  But I didn’t even think to look, I had to go so bad.  So every bit of my bladder was relieved on the TOP of the toilet lid, the flow ended up on the floor and my shoes and ALL OVER MY BIG OLE MATERNITY PANTS AND UNDERWEAR.  By the time, I realized what was happening it was far far too late.  All my bottom clothing was soaked and I had no change of clothes and nothing…not one thing,  I could do about it.  GREATTTT.

So I made my way back to my seat (three-fourths of the way up the plane), hoping nobody could see how wet I was.  By now, my seat companions were all back to sleep so I had to wake all of them up.  Of course, none of them moved so I could get back into the window seat, so I had to haul my wet backside in front  of both of them and then sit there for the rest of the four hours of the flight in a very very poor state.

(photo: bigicetees.com)