Being On A Breastfeeding Elimination Diet Means You Get Nothing Yummy
â€œNo,â€ I said, politely, and in my head I followed it with â€œI donâ€™t really believe in the whole â€˜elimination dietâ€™ bullshit.â€
â€œWell, a fair amount of breastfed babies have trouble with digesting dairy.Â Weâ€™ll test her poop, and if itâ€™s got blood in it, thatâ€™ll tell us what we need to know.â€
â€œOkay,â€ I said, lilting up the â€œayâ€ in the way you do when youâ€™re trying to humor somebody but you know itâ€™s ridiculous.Â My first baby breastfed basically until she was a teenager with no trouble, my newborn was putting on weight like a champ (a heavyweight champ), and, most importantly, I really love cheese.Â Like, really love cheese.
Welp, there was blood in her poop and in that instant, my life went from â€œpretty crappy because I have a newbornâ€ to â€œreally, really fucking crappy because I have a newborn.â€
When I look back at those first days, I canâ€™t believe how stupid I was.Â I ate two entire bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos because thatâ€™s how I roll, without even considering that it has cheese right in the name.Â I bought chocolate milk for my older daughter in the store and took a swig out of the top to help mitigate spillage potential.Â I put cream in my coffee out of habit and because I am a human being, not some sort of animal.
I had to go back to the doctor a few days later for the millionth ear infection of my older daughter, and I asked them to check the newbornâ€™s poop again. I was shocked, shocked! that it wasnâ€™t better.
Turns out that if your baby is intolerant to milk proteins, you have to completely clear your diet of those proteins and even then, she may not heal for a month (a literal lifetime for bebeh).Â Turns out thereâ€™s a pretty good chance sheâ€™s also intolerant to soy.Â Turns out thereâ€™s soy in everything â€“ everything â€“ that you didnâ€™t pull directly out of the ground.
I ended up giving up milk, butter, soy, wheat, and eggs, because once you canâ€™t have cheese and soy, you might as well just commit yourself to eating raw vegetables and cardboard and be done with it.Â It takes so long for the sores to clear up in the babyâ€™s stomach that it felt barbaric to do a trial and error thing.