So I Guess I’m Going To Eat My Placenta
I’m a sucker when it comes to a bargain. Seriously. I’m the person that always falls for the two-for-one deals. I almost never need two of whatever it is I am buying, but I still bite. I’m thinking this is why I have just recently begun contemplating eating my placenta after the birth of my next child. The doula I am looking into offers free placenta encapsulation as part of her service. So naturally – I should do it, right?
I may need help. Some retail therapy or something. I’m surprised I’m not one of those extreme couponers that fills her house with a bunch of shit she will never, ever use. How can I possibly be considering ingesting something that shoots out of my vagina? I know, I know – that may soundÂ judgmentalÂ But seriously. I’m not the kind of person that eats placenta. I’m just not.
A few years ago I was on a natural birth board. It was before my emergency c-section when I still believed everything went as planned all the time. I was totally into the concept of natural birth – the no pain meds, the water bath, the midwives – I still am to be honest. But there was always one aspect I couldn’t wrap my brain around – the placenta eating.
I get it. We’re all animals. We’re the only mammals that don’t eat our own placentas. It’s nature. Yeah. It’s also fucking weird. Eating your own organs is fucking weird. Apparently it’s really not an organ – and it actually belongs to your baby and not you (that’s what the advocates say). But it’s still weird to me.
Back to the birth board. Someone was asking whether anyone had plans to eat their placenta, which of course inspired a very predictable debate. You know, a third of us saying Um, gross another third admonishing us for beingÂ judgmentalÂ and still another third saying, to each her own. I always thought I fell into the to each her own category, heavily leaning toward trying it. Until I read a woman’s story about consuming her placenta after the birth of her child. It went something like this:
Right after the birth of my child I just reached down, grabbed it, and took a bite.
She took a bite of her placenta.
After it had just slid out of her vagina.
Oh my god. I realized at that moment I am not that hard-core. Something about that statement just made me realize I wasn’t in the “placenta eating” group.